Forgive Me (Sequel)

•Chapter Thirteen•

A woman I had met while exiting the barbershop back when I didn't have dreads told me that freshly washed hair made your head feel lighter and your thoughts clearer. I had never really paid attention to that until tonight. Despite the somewhat rocky week that I'd had I felt rejuvenated. I drove through the city, taking the long way home. I kept my windows rolled down, allowing the cool night breeze to caress my face and the old school rap blaring through my speakers to serenade my soul.

When I finally made it home I quickly cut off the engine, secured the locks and traipsed up my walkway. I was eager to get inside and devour the food that I'd bought on the way. As I fumbled to find my keys my ringtone interrupted the silence that engulfed my neighborhood at the moment. Retrieving it from my back pocket I was surprised at the number that graced my phone screen. Swiping the green button I wasted no time picking up.

"Hey A'mia. I'm happy you called. I know you probably tired of me apologizing but I'm really sorry about today. I know it's no excuse but I got mad and lost it." I stated genuinely. I was mad at myself for even snapping at her. I needed to exercise better self control. She sighed heavily before responding.

"It's okay Lance. I understand your frustration and I'm sorry for being childish. Ameer will be back at the center next week but I think it'll be cool if you guys start hanging other than there." She said. I was caught off guard at her statement since she seemed bent on keeping him away from me.

"You playin me right?" I questioned.

"No, I'm being serious." She said firmly. I was elated.

"I 'preciate you man. I won't mess this up." I said. After agreeing that we'd start small, where I'd get to take him a day on the weekends, we hung up as the awkward silence was getting unbearable. Not that we had anything to talk about anyway. It was crazy that things had gotten to this point between us but I had no one to blame other than myself. At least I was getting a chance to be in Ameer's life and that was more than enough for me. I loved Mia enough to not disrupt her happiness, she deserved it.

Once I got done with my food, I took a quick shower then got comfortable in my bed. I started thinking of different things that Ameer and I could do together. However, those thoughts were soon abandoned as a lightbulb went off in my head. I always talked about doing better but kept waiting on opportunities to come my way but now I decided to chart my own path. I pulled out my phone and researched good photography cameras. I planned on getting back into art, taking my own pictures and marketing my pieces myself. I not only needed to be a man I could be proud of but somebody who Ameer could look up to. When I eventually fell asleep and I felt more peaceful than I did in a long time.

I woke up around 9:30a.m and cleaned up my spot a little bit. Since I had nothing else to do I decided to take a quick shower, grabbed something to eat and journeyed down town to an art store I had seen the other day to grab some supplies. I was spending like crazy which meant that my stash would dry up quicker but it was a gamble I was willing to take to make my dreams happen. Nothing meaningful ever happened staying stuck in the comfort zone.

Once I made it back home I wasted no time transforming the small livingroom into my imitation art studio. Connecting my phone to the wireless speakers Chronixx's Chronology album permeated the entire apartment. I was soon in my element and painted a piece I dubbed Uhuru which means freedom in Swahili.

I garnered inspiration from my liberation from physical prison as well as the mental chains that had kept me from realizing my full potential. I ended up painting two other pieces before I realized I needed to start getting ready for my date with Khamilla. I took a quick shower, got dressed and was out the door. I had told her to meet me at the restaurant at 8:00p.m. Rather than stand around outside I allowed the hostess to seat me and shot her a text to let her know where I'd be.

Around 8:10 the hostess escorted her to where I was. I got up to greet her with a hug and couldn't help but think she fitted perfectly in my arms, however,I definitely wasn't about to catch feelings from one premature date. I had to figure out where her head was at, I was too old to be playing games.

"Sorry I'm late." She said before releasing our embrace.

"Nah, you good. I know beauty takes time." I said, giving her the once over. She was rocking an acid wash denim pencil skirt, if that's what it's called. To complement it, she wore a green and white stripped button down blouse and some heels. Judging by the look on her face she also approved of my outfit. I was feeling a classic man vibe so I decided on a denim shirt neatly coupled with a pair of burgundy shorts that stopped just above my knees. To complete the look I rocked a brown belt and matching boat shoes.

Once we got done admiring each other we took our seats and a waitress came over to take our drink orders. We engaged in light chatter until we ordered and received our food. I learnt that she was twenty-seven, majored in business when she was a college student but cosmetology was always her passion hence her chosen profession.

"I don't just do hair, Nubian Tresses is actually my shop." She stated proudly.

"Oh for real? That's good though." I said.

"Yeah, so what do you do?" She asked.

"Well I'm a janitor, handyman, whatever you wanna call it. That's only temporary though, I'm tryin to get my art out there." I said truthfully. However, I noticed the expression on her face when I said janitor. She tried to hide it but I was good at reading people.

"Look Khamilla it's not something that I'm proud of, at least it wasn't until I realized that it was job that people often looked down on but never acknowledged the necessity." I continued.

"I'ma be straight up with you since I have no intention of playing games or leading you on. I made some bad decisions that landed me in jail hence the reason I have that job now. I can't get into the details right now since there's somebody else I owe an explanation to first."

"It's cool if I'm not the man you're looking for but I can tell you this though, I might not be able to buy you expensive gifts or take you on elaborate dates but I can give you my time, and love if we ever get that far." I laid all the cards on the table for her to make her decision but she kept silent and picked at her remaining food. She seemed like she was thinking. We ended up finishing our food in silence. After deciding that she didn't want dessert I paid the bill and procceded to walk her to her car. Once she was in safely I turned to walk away before I heard her call my name.

"Lance!"

"Wassup?" I asked, stopping and turning around to face her.

"I still wanna get to know you some more and see where this goes." She gestured between us.

"Aight, cool. Call me when you get home safely." I said before I continued my trek towards my car and took off for home.

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How we feeling about this chapter? We got to see a more composed side of Lance.