I Messed Up And I Messed Up Bad

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I woke up the next morning by my stupid alarm. I groaned loudly and turned it off, plopping back down on my bed. I snatched my phone from the bedside table and glanced at the date. 'April 4th'  It read. That date had a really special meaning to me. It was Austin's birthday. I know you're probably wondering who the hell is Austin??. Well Austin is my younger brother who passed away when he was only eleven. He was born with a condition called Epilepsy.


It causes the person to have repeated seizures. He was bullied a lot because of it but He always came home with a big smile on his face. That's why we didn't have any idea about him being bullied. He was such a sweet and caring brother. He always made me smile. He always knew how to make me feel better whenever I'm in a bad mood. He was really shy and quite around other people. Always keeping things to himself and never causing any trouble.


He had some speech problems and had a hard time remembering things. I frowned sadly as i got up from my bed and got in the bathroom. After doing my business, I went to the kitchen and opened the cabinet that had bowls in it. I reached out for one and closed the cabinet. I sighed as  i put the bowl down on the counter. I turned around and took out my cereal and milk. I cringed and flinched in surprise as i heard a loud crash behind me. I turned around to the source of the sound and saw my bowl in the ground, broken to pieces.


OH GREAT!! I groaned loudly as i cleaned it up and threw it in the garbage. Ugh i don't feel like eating anymore. I then grabbed my backpack and headed out the front door. I got on my bike and rode it to School. Once i arrived at the hell hole called School, I parked my bike on the side of the school building. I fixed my backpack and started walking around as i stared at the ground. " HEEEEEY THERE LITTLE MUNCHKIN!!!" A familiar voice screamed while i felt someone jump on my back.


I gasped lightly at the sudden move and looked up to see blonde hair covering my shoulders. Charlotte. I shaked my head and shook her off me. I turned to face her to see her beaming brightly but her smile flattered slightly when she saw me staring back at her with an expressionless face. " What's wrong??" She asked, worry evident in her grey eyes as she touched my forearm lightly. " Nothing." I replied with a small smile, hoping she would just let it go.


" Come on Jane!! I know i've only know you for a few days but i can tell something is bothering you so just tell me what's wrong." She pressed as she crossed her arms while staring at me intensely. " Like i said, Nothing is wrong!" I spoke, getting slightly irritated by her. I rolled my eyes at her as she gave me an unconvinced look. " I'm your friend Jane!! Believe it or not friends care for each other's well being!! I'm trying to look out for you!" She exclaimed as she walked closer to me.


" WHO TOLD YOU WE WERE EVEN FRIENDS?? I DONT WANT YOU TO LOOK OUT FOR ME!! I CAN LOOK OUT FOR MY OWN DAMN SELF!! CAN YOU PLEASE JUST MIND YOUR OWN GOD DAMN BUSINESS??!! JUST LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE " I screamed at her, feeling my blood boil in anger. but when i saw her pained face, I quickly realized what i said and slapped my mouth. A few tears left her eyes as she shaked her head at me. F i missed up so bad!!. " Char-" I tried to call her, reaching out to touch her arm while she took a step back.


" Save it!!" She hissed as she stared at me one last time before turning on her heels and running away. I tried to run after her but i felt like my feet were stuck to the ground. I watched her figure fade away as  some students were staring at me while whispering. " What are you staring at??!!" I snapped at them, glaring as everyone stopped whispering and started walking away. Ugh what a great way to start the day!!. I puffed and rushed inside the School , walking to my locker and getting my stuff.


I headed to my first class and sat in my usual seat. No one was in the class right now so i found this a great opportunity to relax for a few minutes. I crossed my arms in the table and hid my face between the small space. Ugh what i did i say that to her? She was only trying to look out for me. She was trying to be a good friend and i pushed her away and hurt her feelings. I'm such a bitch!!. I started to hit my head repeatedly on the desk and groaning loudly.


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