Brendon Urie Imagines and Smuts

*REQUESTED* Why Didn't You Tell Me? (Fluff)

Request: Can you do an imagine where Y/N is Brendon's Sister and he comes to visit her and finds out she's been self-harming?

*I KNOW IVE DONE A COUPLE OF SELF-HARMING ONES BEFORE BUT THIS ONE IS SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT.*

*MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING- READ WITH CAUTION*

Jet lag is a bitch so here I am at 4am, writing yet another imagine!

Y/N POV:

So, for the first time in a couple of months, Brendon is coming to visit. He's been busy writing and recording Panic!'s new album, so we haven't seen each other in a while. Of course, we keep in contact every day but I live back home in Nevada, so it isn't always easy for him to just come round.

Despite the slight age gap between us, Brendon and I have always maintained a close relationship. Out of all my siblings, he is always the one that I go to whenever I need anything. We both share a massive love of music, which I think is what keeps us close. He's also so understanding and supportive, he never dismisses my issues and does whatever he can to help. However, I've started to feel like I rely on him too much and I'm scared it might drive him away. You see, things have been really hard lately. School is becoming almost unbearable, I've taken on way too much work and I can't cope with it anymore. I'm up until 3/4am trying to finish my work and then I'm waking up at 6am for school. Exhausted is a massive understatement. My friendships are becoming more strained, they say I'm difficult to be around now so they're distancing themselves from me.

My parents are always busy with work, so will be gone for days at a time. I just feel so lonely all the time and it's just getting too hard to handle. But, I don't want to share all of this with Brendon. Although he's supportive, he has a habit of worrying way too much. Anyway, I'm dealing with it in my own way. It might not be a way that Brendon would like, but it's relieving some of the stress I'm feeling.

"Y/N! I've missed you so much" Brendon says, pulling me into a massive hug as soon as I open the door.

"I've missed you way more, come in!" I say, stepping out of the way to let him in. He sits down on the sofa and pats it, signalling for me to sit next to him.

"So, I've been speaking to Mom and Dad.." He begins and flashes me a concerned look. Great. They've been telling about my problems, exactly what I told them not to do.

"Oh really?" I ask, getting off the sofa to busy myself in the kitchen. If there's one thing I can't do, it's confrontation.

"They're worried about you, Y/N, so am I. Why haven't you been talking to me about it?" He asks, sadness in his eyes.

"For that exact reason, I didn't want you to be worried. I can take care of myself sometimes and you're so busy, I didn't want to burden you" I lower my head, not wanting to make eye contact with him.

"Hey, you'd never be a burden. You're my sister! If there's stuff that's troubling you, I wanna know about it, okay?" He walks over to me and pulls me into a hug again. God, I've missed him so much.

"I'm sorry Brendon, I promise to talk to you more. Now, how about some food? I'm so hungry" I suggest and he nods enthusiastically.

Heading out to the shops, he fills me in on what I've missed in his life. Mainly, he tells me about the new songs he's writing and ideas he has for the next tour. It makes me so happy to see his face light up when he talks about music, he deserves it so much. 

"There's so much to choose from" I say, scanning the shelves. I settle for a Frozen Pizza and some Mozzarella Sticks. As I pay, I notice Brendon shuffling uncomfortably. I put it down to anxiety, so I hurry up so that he can get out quicker.

"You okay? You seemed a bit anxious in there" I ask and he nods, flashing me an obviously fake smile.

For the walk home, we're completely silent. I have no idea what just happened, not that long ago we were talking fine. 

"I'm gonna put these in the oven, okay?" But he just nods, not bothering to look at me.

"Brendon, what's wrong?" I ask, growing more concerned. When he turns to face, I notice the tears in his eyes.

"How long?" He asks and I stare at him, confused.

"Honestly, I have no idea what you're on about"

"Your arm, Y/N. How long has it been going on?" He says, staring at my arm. I feel the blood drain from my face and I open my mouth to speak but no sound comes out. Tears flood to my eyes and I blink quickly to stop them from running down my face.

"A few months" I whisper, not looking at him.

"Why Y/N? Why didn't you tell me?" He sobs and my heart breaks.

"I don't know, I didn't know what else to do. It helped at first but now I can't stop and I know I need to do. I didn't want to tell you because I knew you'd freak out and I didn't think it was that bad at first" I explain, a few tears rolling down my cheeks.

"I'd only 'freak out' because I care Y/N. I just wish you'd told me, I'd have helped you. I mean, I'll still help you now of course. Do Mom and Dad know?" He asks and I shake my head.

"I should tell them really, but I'm an adult too so that's something. Okay, so we're going to need to get you to see somebody, so you can talk about everything, okay? It's going to be scary, but you can't carry on like this. I love you and I hate to see you hurting, that's why I'm doing this" He says and I completely burst into tears. He puts an arm round me and I lay my head on his chest, crying onto him. Stroking my head, he sings softly to calm me down.

"I love you Y/N, you'll always have me, you're not alone now" He soothes and I nod my head, genuinely believing his words.