one: stupid decisions

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"It's ok" I bite my lip to try and stop the tears from flowing.

He cannot see me cry.

"Baby I'm so sorry" Jacob says taking a step closer to me and gripping my forearms.

"Please, please don't call me baby" I say quietly and taking my arms out of his hands.

"It was a mistake"

"Yes it was a mistake that you made that has broken all of the trust in this relationship. I need you to leave Jacob. Please leave Jacob" I say letting a tear fall out of my eye.

"I love you" he pleads grabbing my face in his hands.

"I know and I love you too, but I can't be in a relationship when I don't trust you. I don't deserve it and neither do you" I say grabbing his hands and slowly pulling them off my face.

"I love you" he says walking backwards towards my door.

I don't say anything and just nod my head, waiting for him to leave before I break.


That was a month ago. A month ago when my boyfriend of three years and I broke up.

Because he cheated on me at a stupid summer party.

And he was sober.

We also broke up with just a month before junior year started. So I ended spending the whole rest summer of the summer in my room binge watching as many Netflix movies and TV shows as possible. As well as listening to Taylor Swift and Shawn Mendes albums on repeat. With the occasional Five Seconds of Summer and One Direction.

Well that is until tonight. My best friend Sadie is forcing me to go to the end of summer/back to school party of 2018.

"Sadie I don't to want to go!" I say crossing my arms as I sit up straight with my legs crossed on my bed.

"Well you are" she says joking through my closet. "Jesus Christ Millie you have so many amazing clothes and you never wear them"

"I don't have any where to wear them to" I say shrugging.

"Well tonight is the perfect opportunity then" she says going through my clothes still.

"Whatever" I mumble.

I go on my phone and go through Instagram. Sadly the first photo that pops up is from my ex-boyfriends account.

It a photo of him... and a girl. He's kissing her cheek and she's smiling. You can tell she's gorgeous with her highlighted hair. The caption is 'babyyy'.

I feel numb. It's like the photo has sucked all the life out of me. But then I feel determined. I mean if he's moving on, I should too.

"Found it!!" Sadie screams from my closet and takes out a white dress with a black jacket. And then gets my most revealing black bikinis, because the party is held at the beach.

"Ok" I say sighing and rolling of the bed before I smile. "Make me pretty please"

"Your already gorgeous" she says. rolling her eyes and setting me down onto my desk chair before going over to my makeup collection and picking a few things before going to hers.

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