Confessions Of A Bachelorette

chapter 17

“Lea what were you thinking honey?” My mother people, I love the woman but right now I don’t feel like getting the lecture on my bad decisions. 

Can’t say that my parents weren’t practically doing cartwheels when I told them I wasn’t marrying Zandy, but now my father is out in the backyard firing up the grill, and well I’ve just told my mother about Cory. 

“I know mom, I don’t want to go over it again. I know I should have told him, but I didn’t know how.” 

“Do you love him?” That’s an easy answer. 

“Yes mom, I love him more than I thought I could love anyone. He’s the one and I know it, but now I’ve destroyed what we had by lying to him.” I start to cry all over again, I’m pathetic already. 

“Dinners almost ready!” The thought of food in my stomach is making me sick. I haven’t eaten anything, I did have some apple juice this morning but yeah that’s about it. I know I’m making myself sick but I’m just not in the mood to eat, so sue me. 

“Thanks honey, we’ll be right out.” My mom turns back to me and sees the tears swimming in my eyes. 

“Honey, if he loves you, he’ll forgive you. He needs to understand what you were doing, and that it wasn’t meant to be malicious, you were just scared. Lea honey you have always made us proud and I know we did not raise someone dishonest; therefore knowing all of that I know that if Cory really loves you; he’ll know that you never meant to hurt him.” I love her did I mention that? I jump up from my chair and into her lap. 

“Thank you mom, I really needed to hear that.” She kisses my temple and tells me she wants me to eat dinner with the family tonight. And so very reluctantly I do. 

Worked sucked today big time. I mean I work in the neo natal unit so things are always difficult, but today was a sad day. This woman came into the emergency room, she was about six months pregnant, and she started to go into early labor. Now normally at six months the baby is far enough along that they are born fairly healthy. 

Apparently though, she told the doctors in the emergency room that she had no prenatal care. So when the doctors delivered her baby, they realized that she must have been leaking amniotic fluid, which caused her to go into early labor. The baby boy was born and he only weighed one and a half pounds. That’s right you heard me, one and a half pounds. 

He’s in an incubator right now, hooked up to breathing machines and heart monitors. I’m used to that, however what I’m not used to is the fact that during the labor the mother had began to hemorrhage which lead to her body going into shock, and now she’s in a coma and her baby might not make it. 

I am having a really hard time dealing with it too, I was in the emergency room when she came in and she was crying for her baby…I just felt so helpless. There was nothing anyone could do. It made me realize at that moment that life really is too short and you never know what lies behind the next corner for you. 

That’s why I’m sitting outside of Cory's house right now. I know what you’re thinking, I haven’t given him any time, but this is important, he is important to me and I don’t want to wait any longer. 

I can only just hope that he gets home soon before I loose my nerve. I of course didn’t tell anyone I was going to his house, I didn’t want to have to talk to anyone about it, if he decides to slam the door in my face. 

It’s about seven and I would think he would be home soon; not that I know how long he works, what if he never… 

Shit! He’s home! What should I do? I know I sounded so sure of myself a few moments ago but inside I’m terrified that he won’t even want to look at me. Here goes nothing. 

What the fuck?! 

Okay there is another car pulling up behind him in the driveway, who the hell is that? 

Oh God! 

No! This is not happening. It can’t be happening. My life sucks big time people. 

“Lea seriously we need for you to calm down and talk to us. We want to help you but you have to stop crying first.” I understand Becca's concern but how can I stop crying? I saw the love of my life with…another girl. Life is just not fair! 

“Becca…Cory…I w-went to his h-house and I…I wanted to t-talk to him to make it right a-and…and…” I can’t even say it. 

“Lea seriously girl I love you but you need to spit this shit out already.” Dianna has such a way with words. 

“He was with another girl alright!” I yell out not because I’m angry with my friends, I’m just so hurt right now and I don’t know what to do. 

“Lea are you sure sweetie? I mean I can’t see Cory doing something like that, not to you.” Becca kneels down in front of me and yes it is out of character for Cory but I know what I saw and I tell her as much. 

“You’re talking crazy, maybe she was a friend or a client or…” 

“Or what Becca, what?” I get up and start pacing. 

“Go back Lea and talk to him.” 

“No.” 

“Yes.” 

“No.” 

“Lea.” 

“Becca.” 

“Fine! But I don’t know when I’ll have time. I’ll be at work and things are not good. I just I need to figure this out.” 

“Lea we’re here for you, but you need to talk to him.” Dianna comes over and gives me a hug. 

“I know I do, but I can’t do that right now. I will soon though.” I get up to leave and they are practically begging me to call him, but I can’t. I can’t deal with having to face tomorrow at work and Cory at the same time.