The Journey That Is Life; A Teenage Perspective

Chapter 27- So I'm A Liar Because I Don't Tell You Everything?

  I heard the warming bell go off, I felt like I should go to class, but I looked down at my hands only to see black smothered over them. No make up on now, just what’s left of a skin colour blush and black dripping down my face? My face will be pale once I wash my face, so there goes my disguise. Did someone plant a time bomb in my head that exploded whenever anything happens, as a practical joke? Because it isn’t very funny. I heard my name being called, it wasn’t a teacher, and it was Zoë. She sounded mad, yet sympathetic.

     I stopped crying to say where I was, and I opened to stall for her to see me. I sat back down, holding onto my knees, looking like hell, as Zoë stood above me as if she just saw a ghost. She didn't ask what was wrong at first, she helped me up and she hugged me, I hugged back tighter. I missed this. I didn't want to let go, but she did, and she brought me over to the sink. Us two were the only ones in the washroom, thank god; I cleaned off my face and hands, holding back more tears. I knew I wasn't able to talk; my eyes burned trying to let more tears run across my face.

     "Can we talk? Who cares about first class, we'll live." She said, holding my hands, which were shaking. I just nodded my head, but I kept looking down. She brought my head up with her hands, "Why haven’t you been talking to anyone, Luke was actually worried, I was worried."

     I managed to have words flow out of my mouth, it was shaky, "I-I- I just, I think I’m sick." I looked up at here, revealing my face; she looked somewhat disgusted, I’d see why.

     "You don't have to lie to me, you can't be sick enough to not be able to pick up your phone, and click on my name."

     "So I'm a liar now." I said harshly.

     "I didn't mean it like that, Maddi, You knew what I mean-" Zoë said, I cut her off.

     "Then what did you mean? Just because I'm not telling you the whole story at the moment means that I’m a total liar? THAT makes sense." I said. I let my hands free to drop to my side. And her arms crossed her chest

     "Then what is the full story? My ears are open." She said, sounding like a little bitch.

     "I'd tell you, but who would you tell?"

     "I have NO ONE to tell, Maddi. You are all I have when it comes to friends if you haven't noticed, but you were all over Luke, you can care less about me." She said, making me feel bad now. I didn't like fighting one bit.

     I took her face in my hands, "I think we're both to blame here. Not just me, and not just you." That’s the last thing I said to her. I hid my face with my hair, and walked out of the school like it was no ones business. Because it wasn't, I made it a few blocks until I called my mom. I explained to her what happened, and she said I could come home, but she wasn't too happy about it. That week went by at a turtles pace.

    Things were going down hill again, I didn't want to admit it but I was alone, and I was sad.

In the classes, when I was picked on to answer a question, I didn't know how to answer, I didn't know the answer like I usually did so that means I'm stupid because sometimes I’m wrong.

I've been looking in the mirror and I realized I'm ugly because my face isn't perfect. And I'm fat because I eat when I'm hungry

Sometimes I liked to go on websites to chat to people I don't know, especially people that need advice. Until I realized I'm a pushover because I like to see people happy.

My spot in life didn't bug me until I realized I AM a loser because I wasn't in other groups of people. So I'm weird if I'm not like Stacy or Addy.

When I’m too nice to people, and I gave compliments girls started calling me fake. I'm ‘fake’, because I'm nice.

I've never liked to be alone, so that means I’m clingy to things.

I've been caring of what people thought of me. Does this mean I’m insecure?

I'm not a fun person to be around because I’m not hyper all the time.

And like I said, I’m a liar because I don’t tell you everything…

This is what society is turning into ladies and gentleman, I can't even be who I want to be because who I want to be is no where near to being perfect.