Padawan Lost ~ AU (1st Installment of the Padawan Series)

Chapter 22

"Well that was fun." Anakin retorted after all the droids were demolished and the perimeter secure. Master Obi-Wan glared at him.

                "Fun would not be the word I would use to describe that." I said, placing my lightsaber on my belt.

                "I agree," Master said heavily.

                "What was your count?" Ahsoka said casually.

                "Two hundred and twenty four," Master Skywalker said proudly. "And you?"

                "One hundred ninety seven," She said, staring at the ground.

                "Ha! Master? Andora? What were your totals?"

                "So uncivilized," Master Kenobi said and walked off to the where Commander Cody was checking on some clones.

                I smiled. "Andora?" Master Skywalker said, waiting anxiously for my response.

                "I- I wasn't counting." I lied. I was counting. I had killed only seventy eight droids. Maybe that was somewhat respectable for a Padawan, but I wanted to be more than just substandard.

                "Well, I've at least got you beat Snips." Anakin jeered. Ahsoka shot him a daring look.

                "Master Skywalker, my troops are ready to get back to Corvala when needed, sir." Captain Rex said, standing at attention.

                "What was your total?" Master Skywalker said, brushing off Rex's last remark.

                "Sir?" He asked.

                "How many droids did you kill?" He kept pressing.

                "My duty is to the Republic, sir. I did not keep count, sir." Rex said, as automated as he could. "... but between us, two hundred fifty seven, sir." He said with his hands on his blaster pistols.

                "Impressive trooper," Anakin remarked.

                "Thank you, sir." Rex said, nodding his head and went back to the temporary station the clones had set up just outside of the factory's remains.             

                "I'm going to go find Obi-Wan." Anakin said, leaving Ahsoka and I alone.

                "You were counting." Ahsoka said.

                "What?" I asked.

                "You were counting how any droids you killed." I sighed.

                "Yes."

                "How many?"

                "You're just like Anakin." I jeered and she laughed. "But, seventy eight," I added. She nodded.

                "Good. It's always important to know how much you impact a battle. Always count your kills." She said, holding up her lightsaber. "I had two lightsabers you know."

                "No I didn't know. Where is the second?" I asked.

                "I- I don't know." She sounded disappointed.

                "Maybe you could get a second when you come back with us to the Council." She looked up.

                "I'm sorry, I truly am, but I cannot be a part of something that has left my people so helpless. We joined the Republic hoping for sanction and safety. All we got was limited supplies and abandonment."

                "We can talk to the Senate; create a plea for our people. Don't forget, I'm Togruta too."

                "Togrutas stick by one another. You're nothing of the sort."

                "I'm Force Sensitive! I had no choice. I was taken from my family and village when I was a youngling. I didn't know better."

                "Then answer this. Would you have left knowing the consequences?"

                "What consequences? I'm fighting for peace and I'm fighting for justice. I'm fighting for my people. I don't see how that's wrong!"

                "What consequences," She breathed. "Everything you do has consequences, good or bad. You abandoned your people."

                "No! I didn't." Then it hit me. Ahsoka was taking the blame she placed on her shoulders for leaving her people, and put it on my shoulders. Filled with anger, my patience ran out and my temper boiled over. "You're pathetic! You think I am you. You are taking your anger of your actions out on me! Well, I'm not you. I can think for myself. I chose to become a Jedi. You could have been a powerful Jedi Knight; instead you stand here powerless against the chokehold of the Separatists. You're a coward. If you truly loved your people, if you were truly Togruta, you would come back with us to the Order and restore what honor is left there for you! You're an insult to what the Order and what our people hold dear!"

                "Stop!" I turned and saw Master Skywalker standing behind me. "That's enough, both of you!"

                I was breathing hard, my heart was racing and I could feel the blood pulsing through my veins. I felt no remorse and I felt nothing for what I said to her. I only felt she deserved it. I felt superior to her backwards and narrow-minded thinking.

                I pushed past Anakin and started to run. I didn't even know where, but I definitely knew why. I had just abandoned everything I held dear. I couldn't control what I had said or felt, and those are trademarks of the Sith.