My Wife the Commander of Death

Chapter 2

Clarke:

After all the commotion dies down Bellamy shows us to some empty rooms on the abandoned ark.

Ignoring Roans comment on how it never bothered us sharing rooms before, we leave him in his room and Bellamy takes me through the ark to be med bay to see my mother. We walk in complete silence the only noise being the echo of our boots down the hallway.

"Bellamy..." Our walking slows. The curls on his head bounce as he turns his head to look at me. "I'm sorry. I really am." We've stopped completely.

"You came back, that's all that matters." He nods. I nod back feeling a weight off my chest. Before we continue he turns back to me. "So Roan...? You trust him?"

"Yes. A lot happened out there, he had my back."

"Are you...happy with him?" All I can think to do is laugh.

"It's not like that." I laugh again. "Not at all we've just spent a lot of time together. We've been through a lot." He nods again and we continue walking.

"I missed you Clarke."

"I missed you too." I say as we reach the med bay. He just smiles and nods one last time.

"I'll catch up with you later. I have some stuff I have to do."

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"Mom?" She was rummaging through a cabinet clearly looking for something.

"I'm busy."

"Mom? It's Clarke I'm back."

"I know you are. I heard." She says monotone continuing looking through the drawers.

"I missed you." I squeak out. The rummaging stops abruptly.

"You missed me? You missed me." Turning to face me there's no love on her face. Pure hatred. "You left. You left me without a word. There's been so much work, and you just left me."

"Mom..." My heartbreaking. "I had to. You don't know what I have to live with-"

"We're all hurting Clarke. We all have burdens to bare. Except the rest of us stay. You ran and hid. Like a coward!"

"Mom!" I cry as she shoves past me out the med bay door. My knees turn weak and I fall to the floor. A messy ball of tears.

She has no clue what I've been through. Can I really be blamed for leaving? Was it really cowardly?

"Clarke? Clarke!" Large hands wrap around my shoulders and I turn to see a worried Bellamy.

"I'm okay. I'm not hurt." I say quickly swiping at my tears.

"Clarke..." His voice softens. "What happened?" I shake my head tears flying about.

"How long have we known each other? What have we been through together? You can let me in Clarke." I finally find the courage to meet his eyes with my wet ones.

"Do you hate me for leaving?" More tears spill. He hesitates at first but the sincerity in his voice convinces me. 

"No. I understand."

"She does. My mother called me a coward for leaving."

"She was just really worried about you, it took a tole on her. It did on all of us."

"I'm sorry. I never meant for that... I couldn't stay. I kept seeing their faces." He sits down next to me and I lay my head on his shoulder. The shoulders I missed.

"So you're a redhead now?" He says breaking the silence.

"Why you like it?"

"I liked 'pretty little blonde' Clarke." He laughs I laugh too.

"Lucky you, it's cheap wash out dye."

"Why the makeover?"

"People seem a little too interested in Wanheda."

"Wan what?"

"Wanheda. It's the name they gave me after the mountain. It means Commander of Death. If someone kills me they assume my power. I was a target for a little while until I got good at being invisible."

"Well, You're safe now." He says standing extending a hand to me. "You can be your blonde self again."

"I'd like that very much." I say taking his hand. He leads me to the large sink in the corner with one hand and snags a chair with the other.

"Sit." He orders. I obey, the cheap dye was starting to itch. Sitting down I let him gently lay my head back and let my now long hair pool into the sink.

Without warning he turns the water on splashing it onto my hair and head. His fingers begin to work their way through my hair, washing the tangles and red dye away with the luke warm water.

I feel my eyes flutter shut and let him continue to caress my hair and scalp. Soon a hand travels to gently stroke the long faint scar on my cheek. It starts at my ear and continues down my cheekbone almost to my mouth. From far it's almost invisible but up close it's hard not to notice. Feeling his fingers stop at the bottom of the scar I open my eyes to meet his.

"Thank you for coming back. Alive."

"I almost didn't a few times." I laugh.

"I was worried about you Clarke. After all we'd been through together I thought I'd lost you. That I'd have to figure everything out without you."

"I was scared and lost. I wanted to come home so badly but something just wouldn't let me."

"Roan brought you back." He whispers looking away.

"I found peace. I brought myself back. Bellamy I will never leave you again. I am so... so sorry." I take his large tan hand into my small pale one. His chocolate eyes come back to mine.

We sit like that for a long time. His hand in mine. Tears rimming both our eyes. Quiet and peaceful until...

"Bellamy?!" He jerks his hand out of mine and we both look to the door to see Gina looking awfully annoyed leaning on the door frame. I whip my head up from the sink as the water flys from my hair and drips onto my shirt and floor. "I've been looking for you."

"I told you I had to see Clarke again." He says urgently standing up and walking to her.

"Yeah well that was an hour ago, I'm tired."

"I'll be there in a second give me a moment please." He presses his lips to hers in a quick peck before she shakes her head turns on her heal and struts off.

"Gina?" I ask picking up a towel. I try to sound unbothered but I never really liked Gina. She was a real bitch in Ark school.

"Yeah about a week after you left." He says not meeting my eyes.

"Does she make you happy?"

"Yes." He says almost apologetic. I just nod my head and throw the towel onto the chair.

"Good. Im going to go to bed it's been a long 7 months." I laughing to lighten the tension.

"Roans probably worried. Or scared." He laughs too.

I nod again and brush past him on my way to my room. It's as if he felt guilt about Gina. Like he only brought Roan up to justify Gina. As if we're both to blame. I was never Bellamy's love or fuck buddy but I was his bestfriend. I knew our friendship would be damaged when I came back and that scared me but I never thought I'd be replaced completely. And that doesn't scare me it devastates me. I feel tears starting to fall and start to pick up my pace.

The interacting was so awkward. It was as if we weren't comfortable around each other anymore. Oh god what did I do.