Adopted By All Time Low

Chapter 58

"What are we promising?" A tired Vic groaned as he sat up.

"Her sisters off limits." Justin looked back. The corner of Vic's mouth curled upwards.

"No problem."

After he said that, I started to feel uncomfortable, almost as if I were suffocating. Events from last night ran through my head. Maybe if I wasn't alone, or if I didn't try to go upstairs, then this wouldn't have happened. Maybe if I was in a hoodie and sweatpants, and I didn't have long hair, then this wouldn't have happened. Maybe if Casey had wanted me, or if my mom didn't die that night, then this wouldn't have happened. Maybe if Gerard hadn't saved me that night, this wouldn't have happened.

I don't know what came over me, but I got up and headed towards the bathroom. I took one long look in the mirror, hating everything I saw; my face, my body, my hair. Tears slowly began to roll down my cheek. Then I did the one thing I'm good at.

I reached under the sink and pulled out an old friend. I broke it as quietly as I could, being sure to remove every small piece of plastic.

I deserve this. I am the reason my family split up. I am the reason my mom died. I've don't nothing but hurt people since I got here; Alex, Jack, Rian, Zack. They don't need me in their lives. Neither did Casey. All I do is cause trouble, and piss everyone off. I deserved everything bad that happened to me.

I took the cold and shiny piece of metal and pressed it to my skin. I was so close to gliding it across my wrist, like I have done so many times in the past, but I didn't. I just sat there, up against the wall. I tossed the blade into the toilet, wondering what the fuck was wrong with me.

I thought of all the people I've ever let down as my fingernails scratched down my arm. My mom, Casey, Mikey, Gerard, Alex, Rian, Jack, Zack, Vic, Justin, Lisa, Luke, Maddie, Taylor......the list goes on and on.

I calmed down and took a breath, realizing what I've done. There are dozens of lines and marks on my arm and the back of my hand, glistening with my body's crimson red color.

I quickly grabbed a dark towel, and ran it under cold water, along with my open wounds. I applied deep pressure over the damp towel on my arm and held it for a few minutes.

Why did I do this? What the fuck is wrong with me? I mess up everything, no wonder why Casey didn't want me.

How the hell am I supposed to cover this up? Rian was pissed when I told them I cut, then what's he going to say about this? If they find out, they're going to kill me.

I took a dry towel and lightly pressed it against the sensitive area. I hissed in pain.

"Blake, are you in there? I've gotta piss." I heard Mike at the door.

"Uh, yeah. Hold on." I frantically cleaned everything up, trying my best to hide my arm without anything touching it. I took a deep breath and accepted the pain that would come from rolling my sleeves down. Then I opened the door.

"About time." Mike joked. I gave him a little smile, before going to my bags from tour. It took a bit of searching, but I found some old band bracelets.

I slipped them on and walked over to Justin. It hurt like hell to have them on, but it was better than having my sleeve rub against it. A few more people had woken up. I sat down and rested my head on Justin's shoulder.

"You okay?" He asked. He knew that I was upset, not just because of Alex, but Vic's comment.

"I will be. I think I just need a nap." I said. He nodded and helped me into his lap. Justin is so nice to me. What did I do to deserve him?