Bully (Chardre)

10

»Rejections«

'Did he hurt you?' asked Molly.

We were both on a date, and I hoped that it was our last, as awful as it sounded- though I was glad that it took my mind off stressing out about what Charlie had said earlier. We had already kissed, and I was extremely worried about if she was going to ask me to be her boyfriend. I could just feel it.

We were talking about what had happened earlier on in the day with Charlie, but neither of us decided to bring up what exactly what he had said to her, most probably out of both terror and confusion. I shook my head. 'No, I managed to run away just in time. What about you?'

'Nope', she smiled sadly, a look of sympathy written across her face, 'I was just shaken up a bit. God, that was terrifying. I can't imagine what it must have felt like for you to experience even worse from him on a daily basis'.

I left her gaze and looked down to the floor quietly. I was very glad to have someone as supportive and welcoming as her in my life, but her saying what she had just said triggered several different scenes to occur in my mind of what he has done to me over the past year. And weirdly, I didn't care too much. The love that I had for him had somehow grown strong enough to fight away the hate I had once had for him completely.

'Leo', she said suddenly, snapping me out of my train of thought and causing me to meet her eyes once again, 'I need to tell you something'.

I exhaled a shaky breath, somehow knowing exactly what she was going to say and bracing myself for whatever it was.

'Okay, go ahead', I managed to choke out, though it was fairly quiet.

'Well um', she started nervously, a sense of obvious anxiety laced throughout her tone of voice, 'I really like you Leo, a lot. You're one of the nicest people that I have ever met in my life. I've had so much fun going out with you for these past few weeks and I was wondering if you would like to be my boyfriend?'

I stared into space for a few moments, feeling my heart begin to pump rapidly in my chest. This was it. I had to break her heart. As fragile and as innocent as she was, I didn't want to continue the romantic things that we have done together for the sake of her happiness when it was killing me inside, especially if we were going into the next level and have an official title.

Hesitantly, I began to reply to her, trying to come across as kind as possible. 'Molly, I-', I paused for a second, taking a deep breath, 'I can't'.

She instantly looked shattered, breaking my heart as well as hers. 'W-why not?' She stuttered, the tears already forming in her eyes.

'Molly, please don't cry', I practically begged, feeling myself begin to cry as well. I pulled her into a quick hug, but she didn't return it by wrapping her arms around me like she usually did. I heard her sniff.

'Listen Molly', I began, feeling the overwhelming amount of guilt wash over me, 'You have been the most amazing friend that I could ever ask for. You've always been there for me and always made me happy. If I was attracted to you, I would've said yes in a heartbeat'.

It was clear that what I said didn't help the situation at all. 'So you think I'm ugly?' She sobbed.

'No Molly that's not what I meant-' my eyes widened, realising that what I had just said may have came across as extremely rude.

She cut me off. 'And you've only ever thought of me as just a friend?'

'Molly stop!' I exclaimed, thankful that we were in a private place and that nobody was around to hear us.

She froze, afraid at my sudden outrage. I sighed. I was going to have to tell her the truth. I suddenly started shaking since she was about to be the first person that I had told, but managed to collect myself before she had given up out of heartbreak and decided to walk away.

'I'm gay', I said, for the first time in my life.

Unexpectedly, the look of hurt painted across her face immediately transformed back into one of happiness.

'You are?' She asked for confirmation, smiling.

I raised an eyebrow at her sudden change of character. 'Y-yeah', I tried to speak confidently, but failing as I realised that the truth was out there.

Almost instantly, she pulled me into a hug. 'That's okay Leo, as long as you're happy'.

'What?' I questioned once she had pulled away.

'I accept you', she spoke, 'And I'll admit, even though I am a little upset that you don't feel the same way about me, I would love to just remain friends with you if that is what you want. I'm assuming you haven't really told anyone about this yet, so I will keep it a secret as long as you would like me to'.

'So you're not mad?' I raised an eyebrow. She chuckled.

'Mad? How could I be!? Leondre, I'm proud of you. And although I wish that you would've told me and ended things sooner rather than leading me on, I understand that you didn't want to hurt me. You are the kindest person that I've ever met'.

I grinned, overwhelmed with joy. Of course she would accept me, she was my best friend. I pulled her into one last embrace, grinning happily as we stood in silence for a while, holding one another.

Once we had stopped, she kissed me delicately on the cheek. 'I should be getting home now', she said, 'But thank you for making me the happiest that I have ever been'.

I began to reply, my whole body being consumed by content. 'You too', I smiled, sincerely meaning it.

She walked away, leaving me with the hope, joy and relief that I wasn't stuck in this awful situation any longer.

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