Zelah pulled out clothes from her closet and threw them on the bed robotically. They were to be packed in her black duffel bag. The decision to leave was spontaneous but final.
She felt the need to leave push at the back of her mind and had succumbed to it after a few hours.
Where she was going to go wasn't clear but she would figure it out along the way. She just knew that she had to get away. From him. From herself.
Facing her problems was better than letting herself break into even smaller pieces. She felt that if she kept going at the same pace, she would lose her mind. She didn't know what was going to happen. But one thing was certain: she was going to meet her mother.
The one that she hadn't talked to six years.
The same one that spearheaded the cause of her nightmares. The fear clawed at her insides but she fought to keep her cool.
She sighed and picked up her phone on her dresser table. A single message waited for her, popped up on the screen.
I miss you. Let's talk? Please. It's Jade.
Her hand hovered over the space to type a message, contemplating something. She sat on the bed with a huff and called the number, closing her eyes tightly. It wasn't a part of the plan but she needed it to be.
“Hello..?” Jade's voice was soft, she could hear the surprise in it.
She opened her mouth to speak but the words wouldn't come out. They couldn't come out because she didn't have a lot within her.
“Are you in trouble? Zelah, what's wrong?” Her voice was stronger and a little worried now.
“Can I..be with you for a few days..? Please Jade.” Zelah clenched her free hand and waited for her response. She could always go somewhere but she didn't want to be alone. It would make her feel worse.
“Of course! However long is okay. I'm just concerned and a little scared. Are you alright? You need me to come get you?” She was more anxious than before.
“Yes..if you can. Maybe in half an hour?”
Her door clicked open and Sam came in and sat on her bed. His presence brought back a feeling of deadness. She felt weaker than ever. Jade agreed and she switched the call off, not looking at him.
They didn't say a word to each other. She went over to the closet and continued to take clothes off of hangers and throw them on the bed beside him. He watched her guiltily, his heart aching. To say that he felt wrong couldn't explain the feeling inside of him.
Because he tried to focus on the woman in front of him but his mind kept drifting to the one in his bed, his mistake. It's like the world isn't working the same, he wondered, because all of the things that I said I wouldn't do are becoming reality.
She moved away from the closet and started to fold the clothes beside him and drop them into the open bag. She couldn't explain how different he felt. His presence, the smell of him just seemed off. But her head was focused on one thing: getting out and getting away.
The part of her brain that stored their happy memories decided to become active and remind her of all of them. The gentleness of his lips against hers when he woke her up in the mornings when they sleep together, his laughter that was so contagious that she couldn't help laughing along with him, the way he held her to him like he was never going to let go.
The unshed tears burned her eyelids and she stifled back a sob and focused on what she was doing. Leaving wasn't an option anymore. She had to.
She had to fix herself before she could fix anything with him.
YOU ARE READING
"Zelah, it happened. That doesn't make you any less of a person. I let you push me away from you all those years ago because it was still fresh and I didn't want to make it worse." She turned away from him and stared at herself in the mirror. Her ha...