Welcome to my satirical poem, American Catseye.
If you like cats—or you're in need of lightly humorous pokes at politics, conspiracy theories, and inevitable societal collapse—you've come to the right place!
Welcome to American Catseye, where I play with sentences to (a) refine my rhythm, line breaking, and word choice, (b) de-stress from America's ...situation, and (c) poke fun at the Illuminati, all through the lens of our seven cats (yes, this is based on our real cats!):
🧡Philosopher Jones, our 17yro long-hair black cat;
💛 Phoebe, our 13yro silver bengal;
💚 Buttercup, our 7yro tortoiseshell tabby;
💙 Thomas, our 4yro tuxedo cat;
💜 Greg, our 3yro tabby cat;
❤️ DeeJAY, our 2yro tabby cat; &
🖤 Lahea, our 2yro tabby kitten—and per American Catseye, she's from the Lanai Cat Sanctuary!
While this could be interpreted as my love song to my cats, (because I really truly massively love my cats,) the story isn't real... It's not like my cats are actually entangled in a secret plot to save the world from Orange Man and Proxima Centauri B...
Also, the Earth is round.
But that doesn't mean this conspiracy theory satire can exist without a Flat Earther.
So prepare yourself emotionally for the Flat Earther.
This project combines the following 7 elements:
💙 Form—epic poem
💙 Primary genre—humor/satire
💙 Secondary genre—cats/animal fiction
💙 Tertiary genre—political commentary
💙 Setting—Feline Society #337, based in California
💙 Theme & purpose—Hooman potential
💙 Research—conspiracy theories
Like many of my projects, I intend to divide this into 3 parts:
in the Neighborhood: Introduction to alpha protagonist (DeeJAY), main characters (Phoebe, Philo, and Greg), and antagonist (Orange Man, leader of the lizardmen, and the threat of the Babylonian Brotherhood)
in Paradise: Introduction to side characters (Tom, Buttercup, and Lahea) & first major tension/resolution
in the White House: Second major tension/resolution
I hope you enjoy! Remember to leave a star (⭐) on any entries that tickle you.
First draft: August 18
Second draft: September 18
Word count: 336
YOU ARE READING
| #20 Conspiracy Theory Oct 18 | Feline Society #337 directs Hooman #1 and Hooman #A on how to save the world from the Babylonian Brotherhood. | Updates Wednesdays & Saturdays. | Currently in the running for The Phoenix Awards. |