Into The Light Castiel X Reader

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Requested by DivergentTrekkie Thank you for another request! TRIGGER WARNING! If you are not comforatble with self harm, suciside, etc. Do not read! There will not be as much as the last one, but I still don't want my readers feeling bad about themslves. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ah Castiel. You had a crush on the blue eyed angel ever since you moved in with the Winchesters. But why would he like you? You where constantly given looks and got rude comments on your appearance. You tried to fit in, but your own style was always the one you fell back on. The only people that ever really cared for you was your two bet friends. But you haven't talked to them since your family got killed by the werewolf on that dreaded full moon. When you left your friends, you began to get lonely and self harmed, but it has been a while before you thought about that stuff. You sometimes thought about suicide, but you lived only for them an Cas.

"Hello (Y/N)." Cas appeared next to you. You sat on the chair in the bunker reading your favorite book.

You blushed slightly. "Hey Cas. What brings you around?"

"Dean, Sam, and I were at a bar and I made Dean mad by, as he put it, hitting on his girl and he told me to shove it and go to the bunker." Cas sat down next to you.

"Oh well, you get to hang out with me then!" You smiled cheerily, closing your book.

"Yes. I do have the honor to hang out with you." He smiled back. you didn't know it, but Cas loved you. No not liked, when angels crush, they fall hard.

You two talked for a few hours about anything you could think of. Sam just came back, having walked because Dean was using the Impala for other purposes. He just glanced at you two and went upstairs to his room.

"Hey Cas, I should be getting to bed." You got up off the chair and headed to your room. 

"Wait." Cas reached for your hand and spun you around. He pulled you in for a gentle hug. Both of you blushed as Cas put his hands on your waist.

"Goodnight Cas." You pecked him on the cheek before turning and leaving.

"Goodnight (Y/N)." Cas flashed away, away from you.

You climbed into bed, knowing that maybe the angel might just like you, so you dreamed of him and only him.

The next day was horrible. You didn't even know why your body even let you wake up, you wanted it to be a dream. No, ths can't be happening.

"And later last night, a fatal car accident killed two young girls. (Best friend's name) and (best friend's name) were killed. Our prayers go out to their families." The newsreporter's calm voice spoke through the TV speakers. How could she be so calm? People died! Your best friends died.

"(Y/N)." Cas's voice broke your chain of horrible thoughts.

"Not today Cas." You ran into your room and locked the door.

They had always been there for you, you had always depended on them. They were the ones to make you happy from all the rude comments  and glances from people. The way your parents had hurt you so much that ran away from home. Abuse, hate, and the words they spoke to you were gone since they go killed. You put on a sad face at their funeral, but your friends knew the truth. The past you had forgotten about now came flooding back, now you didn't have anybody to turn to for help. Your best friends are dead.

"Why? Why them? Why couldn't have been me!? I want to die anyway, so God could have done me a favor." You cried, the tears uncontrollably rushing down your face. "Why not me?" You managed to get through your shaky sobs.

Over the next few weeks, you went back to your old habits. Self harm was the main one. You never went more than 2 days without doing it. You stopped eating all together, hardly getting some water and maybe a few crackers in your system. The Winchesters did everything to help you feel better. You knew you shouldn't complain, they had suffered many more deaths than you ever had. But this was like losing two sisters, it hurt like hell. Cas tried his best to help you, but you pushed away his love you didn't know he had for you. He would just watch you from a far, never daring to come close to you.

One night when the boys were hunting and Cas was no where to be found, you made that decision that you had been wanting to do for a while. The cliff over the harsh river was the perfect place. Nobody went there and the cliff was high enough and the river was rocky. The current would surly drown you if the jagged rocks didn't get to you first. So you left a small note to the boys that said I don't want to see you two anytime soon, okay? Just promise me that much. And you left a jar of honey for Cas next to the note, then you left on your one way trip to the cliff.

You reached the cliff, hearing the rushing waters below. It was a good 35 foot drop, a drop you wouldn't be coming back up from. You turned around, putting your heels on the edge. You closed your eyes.


You wanted to see your long time friends, hoping that maybe Cas would visit you from time to time.


You would miss Castiel so much, his blue eyes, the soft brunette hair that you had fallen in love with. His deep, gruff voice was one of your favorite things about him. The gentle touch from the hug and his hands on your hips. You wouldn't get that again.


Time to leave. This world is merciless, and its also very beautiful. (SnK! I thought it fit well) Never again would you see Cas's light eyes, or his soft voice and gentle touch, never again.

You jumped, you felt the wind whip your flailing limbs around, your hair slapping your face. You felt darkness envelope you as a crushing pain ripped through your back. Your lungs gasping for air but getting none. As the light began to fade, you heard the faint voice of Castiel.

(Y/N)! Come back! Please come back! I miss you... I love you... I. Love.You. Come back to us, come back to me...

Your head was pounding as you looked around. White. Everything was white. The walls, the lights, the chair that you sat in. Even your clothing was white. Why? Was this Heaven? Or was this just the devil's office before he sent you out for torture? You looked around some more and then your eyes landed on him. Castiel. He was standing right in front of you, back turned to you. This was a dream, your body passed out from the torture in Hell.

"Cas? Is that you?" you asked, your voice hoarse.

"Yes, (Y/N). It is." He responded in monotone.

"What I'm I doing here? Why do I see you, I know I'm dead."

"No, you were dead. But you have risen as an angel, (Y/N). You were gifted with this because your soul was pure." He turned around to face you, a light smile playing at his lips.

"I'm- I'm an angel?" You stuttered, amazed.

"Yes. But (Y/N). I was heartbroken, I was devastated that you jumped off. Why? Wasn't I enough. You pushed out my love. I love you. Don't ever leave, again. I can't stand it. Not anymore, stay with me." Cas begged, taking one of your hands. So he did love you, after all that fuss, he really did.

"I'm so sorry Cas. I couldn't stand to be without my friends. But I understand that they are in a better place. But now I know why I came back. To love you. I love you Cas, I won't ever forget it. I promise." You squeezed his hand lightly. The sparkle in your eyes coming back.

"Good, come here." Cas pulled you up and kissed you like no tomorrow. The kiss started out gentle, but blossomed into something else, something more. From this day forward, you vowed to Cas to never leave him. To love him. For you were his, and he was yours.

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