So I'm gonna take a longggg break from writing. My summer has sucked so far, I lost my boyfriend cause he was secretly hanging with my now ex best friend. And yes he is cheating. I blocked both of them on all of my social media's cause I can't look at the ugly ass faces. Anddd that girl Polly I talked about in a chapter, she was at camp and started rumours about me so apparently all the kids there think I'm a rude, bitch. Andddd my best friend hung out with the girl who took my bf. The same girl Polly said how I wanted her dead! Like wtf? Apparently she has bipolar issues or whatever. sooooo I'm having the worst summer ever! I'm gonna take a break and STOP writing for a veryyyy long time.
I feel depressed and I feel like I have no friends at all. I never wanna go outside and I stay inside, in my bed listening to nirvana and the arctic monkeys cause yeah. I feel like I can't talk to anyone about how I'm feeling... I feel like I can't talk to my mom and me and her are attached to the hip! I just wanna lay in a whole and die. Writing this in tears.
But I'll try my best to stay happy and put on a fake ass smile and pretend I'm happy and enjoying life! Hang with my only friend and act like everything's ok! Be like "Hey I'm perfectly ok and not dying on the inside!" Life sucks a lot.
I love my family so much, but it hurts to know that they can't see that I'm suffering and putting on a fake, "happy" attitude. I wanna die so bad right now no joke.
It's like I want someone to comfort me, but I don't want anybody to touch me or hold me and say that it will be alright. And whenever I write depressing shit about how I feel, there just like "Don't worry! Everything will be ok!💕" like no it isn't. It isn't at all. I'm starting high school in like, 5 weeks or whatever and I'm not prepared at all cause I feel like someone is gonna hurt me. Someone's gonna hurt me because that Polly girl threatened me on Instagram saying that I have to watch my back at school. And also said I was trash and no one likes me. I'm starting to believe that.
I can't fall asleep at all and I just end up pulling all nighters. I'm so young to be feeling this way! WHY CANT ANYBODY JUST TALK TO ME AND ACTUALLY MAKE SENSE AND MEAN WHAT THEY SAY AND ARENT JUST SAYING IT TO MAKE ME "FEEL BETTER" AND TOSS ME ASIDE?!??!
WHY CANT SOMEBODY CALL ME PRETTY AND MEAN IT?! WHY DOES EVERYBODY CALL ME THE 'SILENT ONE' AT SCHOOL. EVEN THE FRICKIN PRINCIPAL SAID IT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE AND THEY ALL LAUGHED AT ME! IM KNOWN AS "REESE, THE SILENT ONE" IM KNOWN AS "REESES PEICES" I JUST HATE EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE
I Hate my body, my personality, my laugh, my smile, my name, my glasses, my teeth, my hair. I wish someone called me pretty or beautiful and meant it. I think that's why my ex didn't like me and decided to cheat on me with my now ex best friend. He probably thought I was ugly and fat, cause I am.
I hate my life