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"Have you tried turning it off and back on again?"

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"Have you tried turning it off and back on again?"

Derek looked at me surprised.

"You guys actually say that shit?"

I gripped his computer mouse a little bit tighter.

Okay. A lot a bit tighter.

"Yes. Yes we do. Now the fact that I am up here on the third floor- trying to fix your computer because you got another virus from one of those fucking porn websites again, is really starting to piss me off Derek."

"Now in my defense-" Derek started.

"No!" I aggressively whispered, cutting him off. "You don't get a bloody defense for watching porn on your company computer, you freaking twat."

He gave me a frown at my scolding words.

"You're not as cute when you're angry."

"That's because I'm here to protect this companies confidential information. Now," I took a brief pause to control my anger... and convince myself that killing Derek would be frowned upon by the judicial court system. "How in the flying fuck am I supposed to do that when one of the companies own employees continuously decides to ignore the restrictions we've placed on these computers. How the hell are you accessing porn websites anyways?" I asked, turning to this idiot besides me.

Apparently I must of said that last part a little too loud, because our good friend Joan had made it back from the break room in time to catch exactly what I said. She abruptly burst out into a fit of laughter so suddenly, both Derek and I's heads snapped up towards her direction.

Joan was the receptionist stationed a few feet away from Derek's desk. She was, in her own words, 'a strong, independent black woman who din' need no man.' She was also probably one of the greatest friends I had here. Or in general.


This job would be a fucking shit show if she wasn't around.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Derek. Porn? At work? You really couldn't wait till yo' ass made it home, huh?" Joan started wheezing from laughter so hard I was actually medically concerned she might topple over and die from the way her body was violently shaking. I couldn't help but crack a grin myself. Joan was good at dissolving a situation like that.

I'd never seen somebody actually slap their knee until now, but that was Joan for you.

God, I loved her.

"Hey! Hey! I thought this was a judgement free work zone?" Derek barked back. He shot me a look that silently pleaded with me to back him up, but I just shot him one that very blatantly said 'you must be fucking joking.'

As soon as Joan was able to correctly breathe again, she lead us back into our usual string of gossip. "You hear 'bout Janice up on the fifth floor? Fired. Just like that."

The CEO's Kryptonite (boyxboy) ✓Where stories live. Discover now