INSURGENT: Tobias

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Sometime in the last few seconds, I’ve managed to take a seat in one of the two chairs. My mind feels fuzzy, like a giant wind has swirled up all of my thoughts making it entirely impossible for me to form a coherent thought. I don’t know where I am. I don’t know what’s happening. I don’t know.

My eyes scan the room around me, but I still can’t remember what’s going on. The hammering of my heart makes it impossible for me to hear anything besides a solid thump, thump, thump. The room feels hot and uncomfortable and I don’t want to be here.

But then I see her, just a short distance from where I am, and I can breathe again. Tris. A small cloud of confusion lifts from my mind. Candor. Truth serum.

My body feels heavy and I can’t help slouching my shoulders against the onslaught of chaos I’m feeling because of the serum. It’s almost as if all of my secrets, all of the things I’ve worked hard to bury deep within me, are rushing to the surface, disabling me. I feel like all of my burdens are somehow forcing a physical weight onto me, reminding me of all of my impurities, my mistakes.

I hear the man, Niles I think, begin the interrogation, but I keep my head lowered…my eyes diverted.

“I will ask you a series of simple questions so that you can grow accustomed to the serum as it takes full effect,” he says. “Now. What is your name?”

A haze fills my mind and I can feel my mouth preparing to say the word. Tobias. But I clench my teeth against it. No, no, no. My body squirms against my aversion to the question and I can feel the effect of the serum pushing me to answer, pushing me to confess myself.

My muscles are tight from the effort of withholding information and my mind clears for a second.

“Four,” I spit through clenched teeth.

“That is a nickname,” Niles says. “What is your real name?”

Tobias. Tobias. My thoughts push me to answer. I try to ignore them, fight the serum…but the longer I try, the harder it is. I can feel my resolve slipping more and more as the seconds go on.

“Tobias,” I release, my voice strong despite the war going on inside of me.

“What are the names of your parents, Tobias?” Niles asks without hesitation.

My mouth opens, an automatic response. The serum is pushing the words out of me. I can feel it. But I choke it down and force my jaw shut. I try to swallow the words down, but a lump forms in my throat and the words get stuck.

“Why is this relevant?” I ask, my jaw still clenched. A piece of me feels lost already with the confession of my name, but to reveal my parents names would rip apart my insides, cripple a part of my buried past. Why do they need to know? This fact, this miniscule piece of my history, should belong to me to do with what I want. But recently I’ve come to know that nothing can stay secret for long. My past, no matter if I want it to stay buried or not, will be forced from me and shared with all the strangers around me.

I feel sick.

“Maybe it wasn’t relevant before, Tobias,” Niles says, his voice indifferent. “but it is now that you’ve resisted answering the question. The names of your parents, please.”

I close my eyes as I try to focus, but all I can think of is the serum slithering inside my body, traveling through all of my veins. The pressure of the serum leans heavily onto me.

“Evelyn and Marcus Eaton.”

My eyes stay closed as I hear sounds of recognition throughout the room. They know him. Of course they do. My stomach spins and my mind is filled with dark memories. But only for a second. The serum makes it hard for my mind to stray to anywhere other than the present.