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Things change between Adrian and I

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Things change between Adrian and I. He changes. I don't know why, but he became different with me. More attentive. Sweet.

We spend a lot of time together. We talk a lot, getting to know each other more. He asked me about my plans with studying and I told him I'm going back in fall, next year. To which he replied, "So, we still have some time left, huh?" But he got that look in his eyes that made me wonder what he was thinking about.

I also brushed his comment off. He's making this seem like it's purely fucking, but it's not. Not on my part, not even on his. Things changed. I don't know if he was like that with everyone else, but if he was, no wonder they'd catch feelings.

He's ... such a great man. Intelligent as hell and I love listening to him whenever he speaks. His voice is so pleasing to listen to and whenever he speaks, he speaks in that charming, enticing way that you can't do anything but listen in awe. He's a man who has a way with words. And actions as well, of course.

The evening before New Year's, he texted me he's going to take me out to dinner. I worried that not being a good idea. He's still married – a painful reminder that he doesn't like to hear all that much, either.

He told me not to worry about that. Then, I stressed that I don't have anything appropriate to wear, anyway. He told me not to worry about that, either. He sent me a dress. And shoes. And underwear. And he took me out.

I had my taste of what a date with Adrian looks like. I liked it. It was expensive, nothing like I would choose or nothing I was used to (but then, I've never been on a real date before, so I don't know how that works), but Adrian made me relax and forget about everything else but him.

It was nice. We had a great time.

I started sleeping in his bedroom. I wasn't really planning that, but it just happened every night. We were together a lot. One could say we're starting to get used to each other's company. Which is dangerous. Especially because I'm still not really sure about his feelings and intentions. But I want to talk to him about that as soon as possible.

On New Year's Eve, he wasn't at home. He and Mrs Welch attended a party together that one of their friends threw. It was expectable. What I didn't expect, though, is that I would feel so lonely. And jealous. Bitter, even.

I wanted to be in Mrs Welch's place – more than anything. But knowing that that isn't possible, made me bitter.

I hate to admit that I missed him. It was just one night. But I've always found New Year's Eve magical. I don't know why. Not even Christmas woke such feelings inside of me as New Year's Eve did. Maybe it's because it's the last day of the year and people are all more than ready to end it in hopes there will be a better year ahead.

Or maybe it's fireworks. I love them. I don't know. I was lonely. I spent midnight in Adrian's room, watching the fireworks from his window. I was alone in the house. Roswalt and Milena both had someone to spend the magical evening with. They weren't here.

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