corinna's little sister » david dobrik

eleven » we actually seem to talk about halloween a lot

I hated to say my plan wasn't perfect, but it wasn't. The plan itself wasn't too bad, but the execution was subpar. For starters, I realized it didn't make much sense that my delivery person wouldn't come up to the apartment. Corinna said multiple times to just buzz them up, and I had no excuse for why I couldn't. I just closed the door in her face.

The second was that we were using my phone to watch a movie. I couldn't really unplug it without her noticing I had taken it with me, and why would I take my phone to go downstairs for two seconds? I had to leave my phone with her.

The last issue was that I hadn't thought to change David or Todd's names in my phone, so in the midst of watching Matilda, I got a text from David, probably telling me he was at the apartment. Corinna freaked out and snatched my phone, nearly seeing our texts about the plan before I took it away from her. It was a super close call, but somehow the plan worked. I ended up downstairs in David's Tesla, waving Todd off with a cheeky grin.

It was when I thought about where I was that the grin was wiped off my face.

Truth be told, having someone else know what David did actually made me hate him a little less. For four years, I had been holding it in and once I let it go, I almost felt as if it was completely gone. If it weren't for Corinna bringing it up every ten minutes, I might've been okay in a couple months.

"We're going to my house. Todd seems pretty confident that he'll be there all night," he explained. It didn't surprise me that Todd thought he may be there all night, and I really didn't want to walk in on something, so I thought David's idea was the smartest. It's not like we hadn't had sleepovers before.

"What'd your friends say?" I blurted out after a few moments of silence. My insecurities had been eating me alive since I had my little outburst in front of ten people. I knew they were probably making fun of me the second Corinna and I walked out the front door.

"That I was an asshole," David sheepishly admitted. "Which I know."

"That's all?" I questioned, trying to sound casual but failing miserably.

"Well, they specifically said I was an asshole for messing with you all this time," he added after a moment of thought. "That's about it. I explained to them what I'm about to explain to you. They said I was still an asshole."

"What are you going to explain to me?" I asked, turning to face him with my chin in the palm of my hand.

"Why everything happened the way it did," there was a sense of finality to his tone that made me stop asking questions. I sat back, listening to the quiet hum of the radio until we pulled up to his huge house and he helped me out of the car. "Do you want anything to drink?"

"Do you have alcohol?" I half joked and David smiled, digging around in his fridge until he pulled out two beers. He opened both of them and then passed one to me, motioning for me to sit on the couch. "Your ten minutes start now."

"Okay, let me start this by saying I was young and stupid. So, so stupid," his eyes burrowed into my literal soul, so I kept my gaze straight forward. I didn't want it to get too serious in here. "When I was in eighth grade, I told Ilya, Mike and Alex that I had a crush on you."

It was a shocking revelation, considering he had kind of teased me all throughout elementary school, but I tried not to show it on my face. I just nodded, willing him to continue.

"Obviously, it's a little weird to like your friend's little sister and the boys messed with me a lot for it, so I thought it'd be best if I just acted like I got over it. That's when I started messing with you with the Matty Moo stuff. I wanted them to think I didn't like you so they wouldn't make fun of me."

"So, basically what you're trying to say is that you're a pussy," it was only kind of a joke.

"Yes, exactly," he laughed. "Anyways, that got me through middle school and freshman year in one piece. Eventually they kind of forgot I even said anything since I was so mean to you."

"Did you forget?" it was the question I was dying to know, even while trying to seem like I didn't care.

"I mean, yeah, kind of," he shrugged with a reminiscent smile. "And then I saw you on Halloween."

It was like music to my ears, if I'm being honest. I wish it didn't melt my ice cold heart, but it did. I wish I wasn't the kind of girl who could fall in love off a look and a few words, but I was. I now knew that he did like me when we had sex, and somehow it meant everything to me. "And?"

"And I knew I wasn't as over it as I made myself believe I was," it was a sad smile that graced his face, and he couldn't even look at me. "I mean, when you and Corinna walked away, Alex knew. It was so obvious."

"What was obvious?"

"That I loved you," he said it like it was nothing, but the breath I sucked in proved it meant a lot to me. I didn't say anything, deciding to give him his ten minutes, even though I wasn't keeping time. "I mean, that fucking princess costume."

"Tinkerbell," I mumbled and he nodded.

"Yeah, sure," he shrugged off my words. "I was a little drunk and I told them I wanted to make a move on you. They told me that I needed to sober up first so we played a game of truth or dare to pass the time. I didn't even realize that I had kept drinking through the entire game. I didn't even think about it. My last dare was to go get 'em, tiger. So I did."

"So you did," I echoed, my voice much more hollow than his.

"Later, I told them what happened, and they freaked out. They thought you were going to turn me down," he explained. "They told me I couldn't ever let Corinna know, because she'd beat my ass for touching you."

"True."

"Plus, I was moving in less than a year. If I was going to date Corinna's sister, I wasn't going to do it just to break her heart," he said, which made no sense to me. He did break my heart. He ruined me. "So I acted like it never happened. And then you started to be mean to me, and it was so easy to tease you back, so I did. I never brought up Halloween, though, because I didn't want Corinna to know. It was easy to ignore you after I moved. And then you came in this week, and you are still the exact same girl I've loved since eighth grade. You're still her. I realized it was never going away."

"So what? You pissed me off so I'd bring it up?"

"I pissed you off so you'd pay attention to me. You were all over Zane and Brandon and I wanted you to see me."

"That's dumbass logic, David. You can't hurt people to make yourself feel better."

"I know," he sighed, cradling his face in his hands. "I'm sorry for everything I did to you. I'm so sorry. I love you, though. I love you, Matilda."

"You can't just say that!" I finally snapped, feeling the tears well up in my eyes. "You can't say that! It can't be like that, David! We can't be like that!"

"Why can't it be like that?" he frowned. I despised him for thinking he could say this and everything would be better, and I despised him more because it was actually working.

"Because that's not who we are, David! We hate each other!" I yelled, wiping the tears out from under my eyes. If I returned to Corinna's in tears, she wouldn't believe anything I said.

"Says who?" Dumb. Stupid. Dumb. Idiot.

"Stop trying to fuck with my head just like we did that night."

"I'm not fucking with your head! I'm telling you the truth!"

"The truth you should've told me four years ago!"

"I love you, okay? I'm sorry that I fucked you over. I should have never done it. I should've just accepted my feelings. I'm sorry."

They always say there's a thin line between love and hate, but you never know how thin until you're straddling it.

HOLY FUCK LMAO DAVID JUST LET IT ALL OUT!!! HES GONE CRAY CRAY LOL

do u think this justifies davids behavior??? does the halloween situation justify matildas?? lmk

anyways I HAVE SCHOOL TOMORROW FIRST DAY LETS GO BABY WOOOOO so im going to bed goodnight lovers xoxox abby