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I. Have never been so fucking frustrated in my fucking life.

That night, I wasn't even supposed to get shot. I'd already taken my vest off, everything was over already. But when we were on our way back to the cars, Sam came out of nowhere pointing a gun at me, and before I had the chance to pull out my own, he'd already shot me, and I was out. I couldn't help but think about Katherine, she's going to kill me if this bullet doesn't.

I remember waking up, but my eyes wouldn't open, my body wouldn't move. That pissed me off so fucking much. I could only hear everything around me, that was it.

Katherine would come in every few days, but the day I remember the most was the day she told me she was pregnant. I wanted to wake up, I wanted to hug her, kiss her, I wanted to let her know that I'll be there for her. I tried to get my body to move, but it got out of control and the next thing I knew she wasn't in the room anymore and Ashton was telling me how I need to let this take its course and soon, I'll wake up.

I wanted to cut his tongue out but I guess he was right.

Then I didn't hear from Katherine for a long time. I wanted to know what was going on, but no one said anything. But then she came back and explained everything, I felt like it was my fault. If I'd just waited to take my vest off at the hotel and not while still on the scene, the bullets wouldn't have pierced my skin. And I would've been able to personally kill that traitor instead of Draco doing it.

I remember the first night she came into the room, after I was moved to the house, and slept with me. I knew she had that blanket that she loves, I don't know why she likes it so much but she does. I couldn't sleep and the beeping sound of the monitor was pissing me off, when the door opened, I won't lie, I almost panicked.

No one was supposed to be up, I know that because it'd been quiet in the house for hours, which meant they were asleep, or gone. But then Katherine spoke, letting me know that she wasn't some low life trying to kill me in my most vulnerable moment.

She came to talk to me everyday, the best day was when the baby kicked for the first time. She grabbed my hand and I felt it. I wanted to smile and kiss her, and her belly. I wanted to know what she looked like with her belly swollen with my child. How much she's changed since I last saw her.

When I was in a coma, when I was 13, I barely remembered anything, I did know that, I didn't mind it too much though. I was missing school and that was fine with me.

But now I'm missing out on the love of my life's life. I'm missing out on my child's life. I'm missing everything.

She just left my room. Today's her 20th birthday.

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