Chapter 1

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{ Sunset ~ Robin Schulz }

"Yaz did you see the news today."I heard Maya as I scroll through the Quran.

Why would I watch the news? Okay, I watch the news all the time but today is my news day off, so no news for me. I'm kidding I just didn't want to watch it because I felt the negative energy coming from it. Because there's always something negative going on.

"No why?"

I asked as she came stomping her feet hard for me to hear her coming closer to where I was sitting. I think she needs a chill pill.

"Aren't you going to talks to your relatives, you see if they are okay?"I look up from the holy Quran and see my beautiful friend.

Her long brown hair, black eyes that make her eyelashes look darker. Her brown skin complex with her natural look. She was acne free. Not even a scratch. But she still wears makeup.

She doesn't wear her scarf around me since she thinks I'm practically her sister. Which I believe, and didn't disagree when we had this conversation. We are like Best friends but also family.

"Not really."

Usually, teachers or people look at me like that when I tell them I haven't seen my family in three years. They usually think my parents or family are dead. Or that I don't like them. I tell them it's neither and none of their business. Or that there isn't anything wrong, I just don't see them.

"Why not, family is family."She told me as I just sighed.

Nazar! The evil eye. I don't want to catch it at all. No way!

"Well whatever, I'm going to go pray at the mask I'll see you later."

She smiled jumping off the couch and going to her room that's right across from the living room.

She comes out wearing her long white blouse, blue jeans, a black scarf, and black shoes. She smiled and left waving. I just nod and closed the Quran.

I went to my room. I put it on my nightstand and sighed again. I sigh too much. Maybe because I'm so used to do it a lot without saying a word to people. And maybe that's why they thought I was mute.

My room color was black, blackboards, nightstands, light stands, curtains, desk, notebooks. My bed was a full-size bed and you guessed it. Black covers and pillows. I just like black, like the color of my soul. My mother says it's like Muharram every day.

The other room Maya stays is pretty much white. I mean everything white, while mine is just black.

I feel like we are going for the Ying and Yang series.

Our living room is just black, white and green. Black couches and white pillows with patterns. A small tv on a stand that was white. Shelves that have books and fake plants. We both decorated it. It's pretty cute as she says it. I think it looks great if there was more black.

I actually live in an apartment dorm with Maya and only her. Since being the first friend in my senior year, we were quite fond of each other. She's really nice and sweet but if you're going to be rude, her inner self will explode into the daylight and crush your soul.

Besides she's the only Muslim I can trust. These days you don't really know who to trust. I found out the hard way. But not only Maya is Muslim, but she's also a Pakistani. She's really dedicated to her religion like me. But more than me. I just don't wear a scarf.

I look up at the clock to see it's almost time for prayers. I got up and went to the bathroom.

There is only one bathroom in this apartment and it's easy for me since I don't take a while, Maya takes forever. I really don't know what she does in there. But sometimes I wait for her to get out. Even if I can't.

I go take a good look in the mirror and sighed. I just look like a slump of weight that my skin looks tight and disgusting. But my body isn't great enough but perfect for no one.

I don't get it, I always have some weird things telling me to do things. Sometimes being able to control my emotions is hard to even when I have patience.

I do my Wathu for namaz. I walk out to go grab my mat and Moor. I put my hijab on and started to pray my Maghrib. Hoping the negativity leaves my body to something positive.

"The acne cream that can save your life, no more pores, no more scars, and no more pain."The tv commercial was just being annoying.

Acne cream can't save the world problems if you want to save your life from the problems that are made. Or the problems you've been through. Only Allah can do that. Not some stupid cream for a face.

"I'm back!"She said enthusiastically and I just looked at the boring commercials on tv.

"How did you do when I left?"She asked me jumping on the couch and taking off her scarf.

"Alright."She scrunched her nose and looked at the tv screen.

"Yeah right, did you talk to your relatives yet?"I rolled my eyes.

"No, and I won't,"I told her while she took the tv remote and changed the channels.

"But why, did they do something bad?"I bit my lip.

"Not really, just not close with them."She hums in response.


She smiled looking at a few channels that she skips. There is literally nothing on tv. I checked it four times because of boredom.

How is it possible to smile like that? I mean I can't do that, can I?

I mean she doesn't have problems, her family is amazing. Her mother is the kindest women, you can imagine how many stories she tells me about her parents, they are amazing. She makes the best Jalabe and I learned how to make them. Her Father is the sweetest person you will ever meet. With a kind heart like his and great personality, his children would be the same way.

Her brothers Malik and Mehdi both are overprotective brothers and amazing passion with their ideas and beliefs. Not to mention they have a great sense of style.

And me, a life full of lies. Not to mention how many times I told people that there is nothing wrong with me when there is.

But I mean no one knows who I am, not even me.

That sounded depressing. I'm not depressed. Neither is my life.


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