Chapter 24

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24:

When I woke up the next morning, the sunny day of yesterday seemed to disappear completely and there was a giant gray cloud over the entire sky. Great. Just great. I get out of bed, take a long hot shower, and put on a pair of black jeans. I look at myself in the mirror and see a huge hickey forming at my neck. I sigh at the memory of Logan giving this to me. I had been furious at him, but he smiled sweetly at me and had said he was marking his territory so every other guy would know I was his. I decide wearing a hoodie is probably a safe choice so I grab my black one with a picture of the Beatles on it and I put on dark eyeliner not scary but more like do not mess with me. I walk down the stairs and see Logan looking like crap. His dark hair was scattered everywhere, his eyes are blood-shot with dark bags under them and his hand his massaging his temple like he is recovering from a massive hangover. As I walk closer, I notice my brother looks the same and smell scotch oozing from their pore; apparently, he is recovering from a hangover. I try to not let the fact that Logan left to go party after our fight bother me because technically we were not dating so it shouldn't matter but a part of me is disappointed that drinking was more of a comfort to him than talking to me.

"Uhhh. Dude last night was epic but god my head is freaking killing me." Josh groans. I grab an orange juice and take slow sips because my stomach is turning from not eating in almost 2 days.

"Yeah." Logan mumbles. He does not look up at me even though I can tell he knows I am standing here.

"What where you and Heather doing?" Josh asks with a knowing smile. For a couple of seconds I have no idea what Josh is talking about but then it slowly starts sinking in. Logan went out to get wasted off his butt and then had fun with Heather. I know I should not be shocked that booze led to him having an screw buddy because it is LOGAN CLIFTON the biggest man-whore ever but still. It feels like my heart has been shattered into a million pieces and like I cannot breathe. I turn slowly to leave the kitchen to just act like my heart hasn't been ripped out of me and that this has no affect on me but as soon as I am out the tears stream down my face freely and I can't see where I am going. I run up to my room and collapse on my bed. After a couple of seconds I get up and go to the bathroom knowing my brother or worse Logan would come up looking for me. I look at my reflection and I look awful. My eyes are red, my cheeks are blotchy red, and I have make up smeared from the tears. I wash my face and take a couple hiccupping breathes. I slowly walk back downstairs and plaster a fake smile on my face.

"Hey Joshie...Logan." I say like nothing is wrong.

"Hey Amber. Are you okay? You ran out of here pretty fast." Josh says to me. Logan looks up at me and I can tell he wants to explain what happened to me, but I just turn to face Josh ignoring him.

"Oh yeah. I just realized I was about to pee in my pants." I say to Josh.

"Oh-kay. We should get going. "Josh says. I nod and walk out of the house first to avoid Logan. I knew I should not have trusted Logan. Adam had told me the same thing and I had ignored him. I walk to the car and wait for Logan and Josh to get there slow butts outside. "Hey Amber you drive my head is killing me." Josh says as he throws me the keys to his car. I grab the keys and start the car with Josh sitting next to me and Logan in the back. The whole trip is in silence except for the quiet humming of the engine and Logan's constant glances at me through the mirrors. Usually I would have liked the intensity of the stare, I would have liked the way my heart beats faster , my stomach is doing flips and goose bumps that I get, but this time I feel like a ticking time bomb. The way Logan stares at me always makes me feel special and extraordinary but this time I just feel stupid forever believing that. When we finally reach the school, I say nothing. I hop out of the car, throw my brother the keys, and just walk into the school without meeting everyone in front of the school like normally. I hear in the background Logan saying something about needing to meet his guidance counselor but I try to ignore him and walk into the dark art room. Mrs. Olsen must not be here yet. I walk into the supply closet and just collapse on the ground around all of the paints and clay. It smells intoxicating, but comforting. I sit there crying for all of two seconds before the door is opened and a hand covers my mouth from letting me scream. I push and shove against the unknown person and when I finally stop the tears from falling and get a good look at the intruder I see its Logan. His arm is wrapped securely around my waist holding me to him and his other one is now wiping my face dry of tears. How is it possible that the person that makes me feel so miserable can make me feel so wonderful?

"Ssh... ssh." He says comfortingly to me as I hiccup.

"L-Logan le-leave me alone." I say with as much anger as I can scrounge up.

"Ambs...I am so sorry." He says rubbing my back. I do not say anything and just let him comfort me. As ironic, as it may be he somehow got me to calm down enough to talk or I guess listen to him. "I am so sorry that you heard that, but you have to believe me nothing happened."

"Logan. It really does not matter. We never said we were exclusive and I should have known better than...well the point is this is for the better. We where kidding ourselves thinking this was more than it actually was. I was just being a stupid little infatuated kid and you're 'Logan Clifton'. Us figuring this out now is good. You can be free to be with whomever you want and I can..." I say trying to convince myself my words are true.

"Ambs I don't want to be free and this wasn't a fling or me being horny. It meant something." He says seriously as the warning bell rings. Hearing those words from him make me want to wrap my arms around him and trust him but I know better than to give my heart to Logan. He clearly does not see me as anything more than a good time girl. It was foolish of me to think this was real. I should have listened to everyone and thing telling me this was a mistake.

"Logan. I got to go, but you do not worry about me. You being with anybody is not going to bother me." I say swallowing the lump in my throat.

"Ambs. I-I ..." Logan starts to say but I leave before hearing him finish.

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