Chapter Six

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CHAPTER SIX


My emotions were on fire, I wanted to scream and cry at the same time because I couldn't figure out what to do. I felt so frustrated with myself. Why couldn't I just make a decision? Cameron made it look so easy. He knew what he wanted. He was eager to meet our birth parents, it was all he could talk about, whereas I was still on the fence. It was a big decision and it scared me because I knew there would be no going back once we opened that door.

I would have been fine waiting a day, a week or even a year until I was comfortable with the idea of meeting my birth parents, but that wasn't fair to Cameron. I couldn't do that to him.

I heard a crash and jumped up out of bed. My heart sunk. I was such a pessimist. I immediately thought the worst, someone was hurt, or worse dead. I ran to the source of the sound. Cameron. I burst into his room. He was standing above a pile of his things, the remnants of what was once on his bureau.

"Hey, are you okay?" I stood in the doorway, shocked, to say the least. I knew he had a temper, that was never a question but usually, he didn't snap. Of course, this was a different situation.

"Do I look okay? Dammit!" He screamed, panting. We both weren't okay, but I didn't like that he was taking it out on me like we weren't going through the same thing.

"No..." I stared down at the ground. He rarely made me feel uncomfortable, but in that moment I wanted to run away.

Mom came up behind me, a stern look on her face. "Cameron, you better not wake your sister."

"Is that all you have to say to me? Really?" He threw his hands in the air. "I don't care anyway." He brushed past us both and ran down the stairs.

It was a low blow. I could tell how distressed he was and my mom just blew him off, like he didn't matter like she cared more about Lucy.

"That wasn't cool," I mumbled, before following him.

He made it all the way outside. He was crouched in the driveway, his head in his hands. I shut the door loud so that he'd hear me coming and rubbed my hand along his back.

"You want to talk about the letter?" I muttered, kicking my foot against the pavement. I realized I hadn't even put shoes on.

"No... Yes- I don't know." He fumbled, standing up.

"What's going on with you?" I asked him, it was probably the wrong question. I probably didn't want to know the answer.

"The things in that letter felt more real than anything Mom and Dad have ever said to me. Do you know how that feels? It fucking sucks! It just makes me want to meet them more." He kept talking like I wasn't involved and it was making me mad. I clenched my fists.

"You know what? I do know! Because I just read that letter too, but you haven't asked me how I'm doing. I keep trying to be strong for you, but even I have my limits!" I let go, speaking my mind. "You're so selfish! We're supposed to be in this together and you act like you're in this alone! I've been so worked up, thinking that I had to want to meet them because you do, but I don't. I don't want to meet them." I faltered, wrapping my arms around myself.

We never fought, we hardly ever disagreed. I couldn't believe I said it. It took everything I had inside. I didn't want to see the look on his face.

"Seriously? They're our parents!" He looked at me with disgrace in his eyes.

"They gave us up! Why can you forgive that so easily?" I shook my head. Meeting our birth parents was such a big deal and he was rushing into it.

"Why can't you?" He said coldly and brushed past me, knocking my shoulder.

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