"Is there anyone that seemed familiar when you went over your memories. Someone you feel you'd seen before?" My gaze moved back to Dean.
I thought for a moment, then shook my head. "Not to my knowledge."
"Ok. So, we don't have much to go on in terms of possibilities. Hayley explained to us what she saw, and that not one of the people appeared in more than one place. So you either have a collective of people who hate you or just the one."
My head turned to look at Hayley, blocking out his words for the moment. My eyes were wide and full of fear, my heart felt like it was beating too fast and too loud. She found my hand and gave it a squeeze, her eyes relaying the message loud and clear. Not a word had been spoken about the other thing that she'd seen. A soft exhale and I zoned back into what was being said.
One thought floated into my head, making me look at Hayley in fear. After a moment she felt my gaze, looking over to me in confusion and then I watched her eyes widen. Grasping my hand she squeezed it gently, shaking her head. I exhaled and squeezed her hand as well before giving Dean my full attention.
"... heard about your dreams and the moment at lunch with Jessica a little while ago. Would you mind sharing those with me?"
For a moment I paused, not out of fear, but to ensure that I had the exact moment things happened. I felt another squeeze of the hand, which was unnecessary, but it felt nice that the comfort was there if needed. "At first it only came in day dreams, I'd be thinking back on a memory and then it would come to me differently than I presently remembered it. Then I'd get dreams, but they were always scattered and far between. They always include a death, rarely a happy memory. I've seen myself being run down by a motorcycle, pushed in front of a train and just during my nap I got a taste of a sad me getting on a plane and it exploding in mid air." The shudder returned, the image of me and the reminder of the pain still not something I could look back on.
Not now mind.
Clearing my throat, I shook my head and got back on course, "It's always so graphic and I can basically feel the pain. I still haven't quite recovered from that one. It's starting to feel worse, the pain is becoming more intense and everything just so real in general. Then it implants in my memory as if it was there the whole time. Like it's there, then a blank and then the newly made memory is there. Being dumped, getting on a plane, dying and then nothing. Then all of a sudden I get on the plane feeling just fine and land in Seattle like nothing ever happened. It's messing with me a little, though the longer I've dealt with it the more it seems to fit."
As I spoke eye contact was maintained with Dean and I watched his eyes soften as he heard that about the details. I assumed he was feeling sorry for me, so again a forced smile took its place on my lips. The pity was not something I needed more of.
"And about the push back when you were with Jessica?" Malcolm's voice cut through the momentary silence, the impatience leaking from his every word.
The smile left as quick as it came, my eyes narrowing as I turned to look directly at him. "It was weird. I don't remember anything that happened before, but when I looked at the table, I could have sworn our drinks had already been brought to us. My head felt a bit jumbled, but I was sure that it had really happened. I asked her about it and she seemed a bit shocked by my question. After we continued on as if nothing had happened."
Again Dean cleared his throat, attempting to recall my attention to him. I stared Malcolm down a moment longer, but then Sam pinched my arm and I realigned my attention. "Is this the first time it's happened to you?"
"I'm not completely sure. I've had other moments where I feel like something happened already and it was just happening, but I can't be sure if it's me being crazy or someone pushing back time." This not having any real answers things was getting old and making me feel useless to my own cause.
"Okay. Well, this isn't something to be too alarmed about. Sometimes when you're exposed to too much timeline manipulation, you become a bit sensitive to it. Of course everyone in the world feels it, but your line has been so drastically alter so many times that it's a bit more extreme. I wish I could guarantee it gets better or stops, but, excuse the pun, only time will tell." There was no attempt at a laugh, in fact no one, but Theo laughed. It caused all of us to look to him, to which he shut up.
"So this could get worse?" My voice was higher than I'd intended it to be.
"Yes. It has never reached that point as far as we know, so we don't know if it could be a bad thing for your mental stability."
"Not like there's much stability in the first place." Eyes widened a fraction and my cheeks began to burn, I hadn't meant to say that allowed.
A laugh came from Sam, but he tried to cover it. My elbow swung back, aiming for his stomach; by the sound he made I was sure I hit my mark. Hayley made a sound too, but was much quicker to cover it up as she was just clearing her throat. A scoff came from the direction of Scott, but I wasn't going to give into the temptation and call him out right now.
"Thank you for answering my questions to your best ability, Sidney. If I have any more, I will be sure to do so, just as I hope you will provide me with anything new. I want to stop whoever is doing this. No one deserves to go through this." Dean rose from his seat, hand fully extended. I stood as well, shaking his hand and moving back as he went to shake the others. When he was done, Jessica and Scott walked the two men to the door.
When they were out of sight Sam moved to stand right in front of me. He had solemn look upon his face, his cheeks lightly tinted red. "Sid, about that airport thing..."
My hand moved to cover his mouth, shaking my head profusely. "I'm not yet recovered from that dream, so I would prefer not to relive it right now. I especially would prefer to not discuss what happened beforehand. Not only because these two," I inclined my finger to point at Hayley and Theo. "But because I need a bit to process that as well. If you still want to talk about it in a day or two then it's fine."
"Fine," he huffed falling back against the couch again. "Tomorrow it will be then."
My eyes left him and then moved to the two who'd huddled in the corner to watch us. They eyed us as if waiting for an explosion or more of a conversation on this subject. I looked them directly in the eyes, but neither of them bothered to look away or look slightly inconspicuous.
"You two definitely get that creepy, unwavering stare from you parents. Though it seems strong with Scott." Another thought spoken out loud though it held no malice.
Their expressions shifted, and they didn't seem the least bit happy with that observation. It seemed no one saw that man's behavior as something that should be emulated. They both wore an apologetic smile. "Sorry about him."
"Don't apologize for him. He's a fully grown adult and not the least bit sorry for his behavior. No point in pretending he even feels a fraction of his actions are reprehensible."
YOU ARE READING
Wake. Force myself out of bed. Stress. Class. Homework. Breakdown. Sleep. The routine is what got Sidney through life, even though sometimes the stress was just amplified by her other stress. It wasn't her best life, but she was going to try and mak...