Saturn- Brallon

12 | d a l l o n

Brendon and I went on a date!

It didn't go well.

Actually, it was. For a minute. And then at the end of the night I did what you normally do and he pulled away.

He denied the kiss. Simple as that.

It was kind of embarrassing. And then it kinda got sad. And then he laughed and apologized.

We saw a movie, and it was fine. It was Love, Simon or whatever. it was playing for one of those replay things the theatre does. I wasn't a fan. Neither was he, though. At one point we both looked at each other with how cliche it was.

And then we left and got more coffee.

I remember he just smells like coffee beans. Sitting beside him in the theatre made me very aware of his smell. Not even the popcorn could mask it. It's like he had coffee bean smelling cologne.

Anyway, so we left and got coffee, then we left the coffee place and I walked him to his car.

And I swear he wanted to kiss me. Or maybe I was just hallucinating. I don't know.

But he looked really pretty?? And not the pretty in the moonlight thing. The moon wasn't even out. The sky wasn't even out. It was the sun going down and no sign of darkness anywhere.

The light from his car being opened had shown me how sharp his jaw was, and how perfect his cheekbones were.

And so I tried to kiss him. Because when someone looks that pretty and is laughing at all of your jokes you would kiss them, right?

Well, he didn't like that I guess. I mean, I'm completely lying because he told me why. But I just thought I'd talk about all the details first.

"Sorry," he whispered lowly. "I like you.. a lot, you know?"

He asked. Of course I didn't understand because if he liked me then why didn't he want to kiss me?

"I'm jumbled up." He starts and at first I was confused but then I got it. "With all the stuff happening, I don't know what's right." And that sounded more like a question. Like he was unsure of the words he was speaking.

"I get it." I said and he darted his eyes to me.

"I think you don't. I'm sorry, again. But I think I need time to figure stuff out."

And I get that, I do. Or maybe I don't but I'm trying. I know that his dad died weeks ago and then suddenly he got diagnosed with pneumonia and now he's trying to jump into something with some guy. I know how bad it is. So I get it...or something.

So I smiled and shook his hand. And then asked if he wanted to hangout again, as friends. And then he said he would like that.

So, it may not have ended in a kiss, but there's gonna be a next time.

-

fun fact: this story was originally gonna take a way different route around chapters 6, 17, and a bunch of other places

also I've been up since 6 am I'm so mad about it

-jj