Folly

The Frump Who Would Be King

The Frump Who Would Be King (political satire)

©2018, Olan L. Smith

Once upon a time, in a dimension very close to our skin, lived a very, very rich Frump. He wanted to be richer, and more powerful than all the other Frumps of the world, but he had one weakness; he was insane, and the older he became the crazier he was. He played with politics, it was the only way he could become more powerful than all the other Frumps in the world who were much richer and more powerful. One day he read about an alternate universe where everything was topsy-turvy, then it dawned on his if he could turn this world inside out it would merge with that topsy-turvy dimension, and then he would be the craziest frump of them all. It was the only way his wish would come true, for surely, in his current dimension there wasn't a chance in hell he would become king.

The Frump hired the best theoretical physicists and created his own think tank to turn the world inside out. After much study and thinking, the scientists told him, it was possible to merge this world with the other, but it was not a matter of science; it was a matter of thought. They explained to him that reality is not objective but subjective, and that subjective reality was shared by all the other minds in this reality. All the Frump would have to do is convince other minds that his truth was the only truth. So Frump practiced, at first he started small; he wouldn't pay his small bills, and told them he didn't need to, because he explained that to work for him was its own reward. He was such a rich frump; no one dared sue him. When he did this to the banks, however, it didn't work, and he went broke, not once but four times. The frump was so furious at his think tank he thought of ruining their careers, but his crazy logic prevailed, and he called them. They all said, you don't need money; you just have to tell other minds that you have money. If they believe you then you are rich, because they think you're rich. You could shoot a man in plain view and no one would convict you; all you have to do is deflect them to your own crazy reality long enough, but they don't know what's true, and what's not.

Frumpty Dumpty sat on his throne

Frumpty Dumpty had a great moan

All the King's frumps with all the King's scat

Wouldn't put together the silly dingbat.