Temper (Kun)

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A/N: WARNING THERE IS SMUT IN THIS IMAGINE!  You have been warned :)

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He stared in disgust at the stage before him.  Kun knew that even though he had debuted and was a known member of NCT, he would not be standing on that stage this time.  He had featured in "Black on Black", being just a blur in black clothing in the background.  Kun didn't think he seemed special.  It was frustrating- the fact that each member was known for something or the other.  Lucas had his visuals, Jungwoo had his adorable charm, Jaehyun had this princely aura about him, and Taeyong, of course, was the center of attention.

Kun knew he was supposed to think of NCT as his team.  Those boys performing up there now were not only his teammates, but his brothers.  They'd been through everything together, they'd seen all sides of each other.  But still, Kun hated the fact that he wasn't performing with the rest of the group.  It was embarrassing to be hiding behind those curtains, watching his own group go on without him.

The concert came to an end, and the members collapsed backstage, exhausted from their gig.

"Geez, why are these costumes so stuffy?" Johnny complained.

"Kun, you're lucky that you didn't have to dance for an hour," Winwin laughed, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder.

Kun smiled, but shrugged Winwin's hand off.  He wanted to leave.  He could if he wanted to.  It's not like anyone would notice.  So he did.  Kun slipped out, letting the night breeze comfort him.  It didn't do much.  Hopping in his car, he revved up the engine and drove to your apartment.  He hated the fact that he couldn't even travel in the same van with the group since it was for the "performers only."

You were busy researching for your project at work when you heard someone enter the password on your front door and come in.  

"Kun?  Is that you?" you asked anxiously.  You weren't sure who was in your house.  Kun was supposed to be with NCT at their concert.

You slowly walked into the living room and saw him standing there.  His eyes were watery and rimmed with red like he had already cried.

"What's wrong?" you asked, and Kun answered by shoving you backwards into the wall, kissing you roughly.

You tried to make sense of what was happening and why.  Why was Kun doing this?

He trailed his lips down your neck, kissing until he reached your collarbone.  He stopped, meeting your eyes for a moment and pulled you into your bedroom, harshly pushing you onto the bed.

"Kun?  What's wrong?" you asked again, your voice shaky.  

His hands worked automatically, undressing you all while he kissed you.  His cologne, his lips on yours, the way he pleasured every one of your senses- it was overwhelming.  And even though you were confused and concerned, you found yourself enjoying the moment.

His cheeks were red.  That only happened when he was super embarrassed or really angry.  You weren't feeling the first one by the way he thrusted into you, using all his body's force.  He definitely seemed angry.  You felt that tight knot form in your stomach, and it wasn't long before both of your climaxes hit.  

Kun laid you beside him, covering you up with your blankets.  "I'm sorry," he whispered.  "Are you okay?  Did I hurt you?"

You faced him and held his hands gingerly.  "Babe, what's wrong?  You can tell me.  I'm not just here to love you.  I'm your friend, too.  I'm here to listen and help you."

Kun bit his trembling lower lip.  "I hate the fact that I don't mean anything to anyone.  I don't even mean anything to myself anymore.  Am I really in NCT?  People know me as that guy who doesn't have any lines, any parts, no features in music videos.  Who am I?  I don't know myself anymore.  I used to be a boy who couldn't imagine a future without music.  And now here I am, living my dream, but it's a nightmare."

You snuggled closer to him, tangling him in the warm blankets with you.  "Kun, you are the best person I've ever met.  You showed me that no matter what happens, you should always have hope.  Look at us.  We met as pen pals, and then you moved here to Korea, and we've been dating for five years.  You taught me to follow my heart because as crazy as that sounds, my heart will lead me in the right direction."

You leaned closer, placing your hand on Kun's chest.  "Music is the beat that's keeping your dreams alive.  Music is the element that makes your heart beat.  Please, just bear this a little longer.  The best part about hitting rock bottom is that there's only one way to go after that.  Up."

Kun wiped his tears and pulled you into his side.  "You know, I've taught you really well.  I'm sorry for taking my anger out on you."

You coughed, blushing a little.  "I didn't exactly mind that."

Kun laughed.  "Everyone has a dream.  Music has always been mine, but now you're in that dream, too.  I hope both you and music continue to stay by my side."

  

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A/N: Thank you @BTStaehyungsbae for requesting this!  I made another exception and wrote somewhat of a smut.  It's not terribly detailed, but I hoped you all liked it!  ALSO LET'S SHOW KUN SOME LOVE!  I feel like he's one of the most underrated members.  He's got so much talent, from magic to cooking to his voice!  Plus he even learned a new language to keep chasing his dream.  That's dedication right there!


Question of the imagine: What's your dream?  For me, this may sound silly, but I hope to be more of a friend to all of you.  I hope I can keep writing and maybe even publish a book!  That would be amazing.  I can't imagine my life without writing.  

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