Deer Luhan, With Love

57

Chapter 57 – In Which Luhan’s Big Brother Mode Is Activated Yet Again

Deer Luhan,

You have no idea how much I would pay to see you jump out of a wedding cake ripping your shirt open and yelling “surprise, mother*ckers!”

Leigh

It took a lot of effort to get rid of the manager.  Chanyeol and Baekhyun tried getting us all to yawn continuously and D.O. mentioned something about wanting to go to bed, but even when only Lay, Tao, Kris, Xiumin and I were left in the room, he still refused to budge.  It wasn’t until Suho emerged from the bathroom with a very sleepy Kai that the manager finally felt we were in responsible hands and got up, reminding the M members still there that they needed to be ready to leave for a radio recording or something at half nine.

The others, with the exception of Luhan, who had fallen asleep under the sofa and nobody remembered until Sehun asked several minutes later on, all reappeared as soon as the front door slammed shut.

“Today has kind of sucked,” Luhan grumbled as Xiumin and Sehun tilted the sofa to enable him to roll out into freedom.  Suho just glared at him and then around at the others, eliciting a South Park moment from Chen when he said: “Well, I hope you’ve all taken something away from it, particularly as far as the juice is concerned.”

“Oh, we have,” said Chen quickly.  “I think I’ve learnt something important today: Sehun dreams about Leigh and yoghurts.”

“The heck?” demanded Tao as Sehun punched Chen lightly on the shoulder.

A disturbingly mischievous grin spread across Chen’s face and he opened his mouth to reply, but Lay got there first.

“Well, speaking in hypotheticals—” he eyed the jug, which still contained some of the juice, “—if Sehun were to like Leigh and dream about her, then yoghurt—”

“You are not having that kind of conversation while there is a girl in the dorm,” Suho butted in sharply.  Baekhyun just stared.

“Lay, since when did you become so perverted?”

“Since Kris found tampons in the dorm and Lay went off to do some ‘research’ after Leigh had to explain to him what girls do with them.”  Chen patted Lay sympathetically on the back.

“Wait.”  Baekhyun turned from Lay to me.  “Hang on a second.  You’re a girl.”

I facepalmed.

Dead silence.  Except for Chanyeol.  “Hey, I thought we established that ages ago.”

Baekhyun waved an impatient hand.  “Shut up, Chanyeol.”  He returned his attention to me.  “So that means you get, like… pains and… times of the month and you have to—”

I nearly screamed.  “I am not having this conversation again!”

“But doesn’t it really hurt?” Baekhyun persisted.  “Like, you’re bleeding— How come we never noticed—?”

Suho clamped a hand over Baekhyun’s mouth.  “You are going to bed now,” he said firmly.  “Why would you even ask that?”

Sehun’s jaw dropped.  “That’s a bit rich, coming from you.”

“Suho is rich,” Kris pointed out.

“I’m going to bed,” I muttered.  “I can’t deal with this anymore.”

I was immediately swept into a hug.