Chapter 35 - girls

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POV Ethan


Mao was laying on the couch in a towel and we were watching Orphan Black on Netflix.
I was sat on the ground, by back against the couch, her hand running through my still wet hair.

I love that.

The way she always run her hand through my hair. Not even realizing that she is doing that.

Sometimes she'd found a hair longer than the others and cut it, never hurting me.
Sometimes when we cuddle and my head is on her chest she put hers in my hair, loving the way they feel against her cheeks, loving the way they smell.
Especially when I wash them with Grayson's shampoo because it has the smell of cut grass and lemon...


"I'm sorry." I told her after a moment.

Her hand froze in my hair.

"Sorry about what ?" She asked, confused.
"I'm sorry for overreacting after you told me you decided to stop your treatment. That was not cool of me."
"It's okay, e. It was a normal reaction and I probably would have had the same if it was you at my place." She said.

I turned and put my head on the couch, looking at her.

"If it's your decision to stop chemo then I'll be there for you. And that's what I should have told you that night, instead of acting like a dick" I told her.

She smiled at me, caressing my cheek.

"Thank you..." She murmured, tears in her eyes.


I got up from the floor when the last episode finished.

"Let's go to your bedroom." I said, taking Mao in my arms, carefully.

I carried her and then sat her on her bed. Then I walked to her closest.

"What do you want to wear ?" I asked her.

"Just a simple pair of leggings and a big shirt." She responded.

I opened the closet.

"Okay... Where are your leggings ?"
"Second compartments, next to the socks." She said.
I frowned.
"Who puts pants and leggings next to socks ? That doesn't make sense !"
She gasped, laughing.
"Well, me ! And I think that makes perfect sense !" She said putting her hand on her heart, faking a shocked expression.
I laughed.

I took one of her leggings, a simple black one and looked for a shirt.
I found a pink one that had a big squirrel printed on it and on top of the image it was written «happy national squirrel day».

I took it and turned to face Mao.

"What the hell is that ?" I asked her.
She put her hand on her mouth to stifle a laugh.
"I bought it last year, I think it's cute." She said.
I could not help but laugh at her laughing.
"That's awful!"
"Hey you asshole, don't disrespect squirrel !"

We laughed together.

I love seeing her laugh, it makes me realize that everything is not bad in this world.

I ended up choosing a green shirt with a smiling sun printed on it.
She said it was her favorite.
I swear this girl has serious fashion problems.

"What bra and underwear do you usually use ?" I asked her, opening her underwear compartment.

What the... This shit is bigger than my house, It's literally filled to the brim ! Why do girls have so much things ?

"Just take one, it doesn't matter." She said.
"Do you want them to match or I just take two random one ?"
"I never wear matching ones so take whatever you want."

I sought a few seconds and ended up choosing a navy blue bra and a light blue underwear.

This kind of match right ?

"Okay !" I said, turning towards her with her clothes in my hands.
"We have our winners !"

She smiled at my victory face.

I walked towards her and helped her take her towel off. Then I helped her put her underwear and bra on.
"How do you tie that alone when it's on your back and you can't look at it ?" I asked, struggling to tie her bra.
"I don't know, you get used to it." She responded with a little laugh.
"You girls are talented, I could never do that..." I murmured.

When I finally managed to put her bra on, I helped her put her shirt.

"But is it uncomfortable ?" I asked.
"What ? The bra ?"
"Sometimes. But we have to do with it."
I frowned.
"That's not fair." I said.
She smiled at me.
"A lot of things are not fair, Ethan."
"Yes, like, why do women have to pay billions of dollars to buy tampons and pads when they didn't chose to have their periods ? That's messed up !"

I helped her put her leggings on, making sure she don't fall.

"I know, but sadly not everyone thinks like you. Shop owners, who are most often men, are delighted to make money on that. That do not disturb them, they make millions and they do not care about women. That's the way it is" She said.
"That needs to change." I said.

She run her hand in my hair, looking at me in the eyes, smiling.
"You're a good person, Ethan." She told me.
"I try to be."

She stared at me a few seconds, saying nothing.

"I always wanted to be with a man like you, who makes me feel so safe and beautiful." She said.
I smiled.

"Well, I'm a man like me, and you're stuck with me." I replied, shrugging.

She put her head on my chest while I wrapped my arms around her.

After a moment in that position, she slowly lifted my shirt a little to put her frizzing cold hand on my bare back.
"That's rude." I murmured.
"You're warm." She just replied.

I could feel her smile against my chest.

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