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I wish I was that small again. Then, I would have tried hard to convince my mother, tried hard to keep myself away from this world of evils, who ruined my life.
I still remember that day. I was clutching tightly on my mother's finger with my tiny palm as I walked on the roadside. "Y/N-ah, do you know that there was a storm last night? You didn't notice, right?" She chuckled. "I am going to tell everyone that Y/N is a strong girl." She said while walking, but it didn't lighten up my mood even a bit.
"Eomma please." I sobbed again. "Y/N-ah~" she cooed, kneeling down to my height, wiping off tears from my wet cheeks with her thumbs. "Your life is not just those four walls. You have to explore the world and make friends. You never know when one will leave you." She confronted me while I payed no attention to what she said and kept on sobbing.
I wish I could have seen the future, I wish I could sense it and avoid it before it was too late. But, it is too late now, too late to change anything.
She finally left me there, in that kidergarten. I unwillingly dragged myself to a classroom. Separating from Eomma was something I had never thought of. I took a seat and sobbed a bit, wiping my running nose with my hankerchief.
Someone came and sat beside me. "Annyeong. I am Hyuna, what's your name?" She asked cheerfully. I still remember, she had a sweet voice. I had never heard anyone before that except my mother, who usually whispered.
"Y/N." I somehow managed to speak between those sobs. "Aigoo, why are you crying?" She wiped off my tears. "Don't cry, we will play." She rubbed my back. That was the nicest way someone had ever treated me.
I slowly wiped my face with the hankerchief. She held my palm with hers and pulled me to a playroom. "Sohyun, look who we got here." Another girl, apparently Hyuna's friend, got up from a table and rushed to us.
"She is so cute." She said, pinching my cheek. "Let's own her." She told Hyuna. "Aniyo~~~" Hyuna cooed. "She is our new friend." Soohyun held my other palm as she led me to a round table where the three of us sat and began playing with blocks.
Hours passed and I didn't feel the absence of Eomma at all. We played the whole day as much as we liked, braided each other's hair, had tea parties and many other things.
Finally, the clock struck 12 and parents started coming into the campus. Soohyun pulled me by my arm to her Eomma. "Eomma, this is my new friend, Y/N."
I just kept looking at that tall lady. She was so beautiful. She didn't have puffed and red eyes, trembling dry lips and pale skin, like my mother.
"Annyeong Y/N, where is your Eomma?" She asked me, bowing a bit. Before I could answer anything, someone yelled my name. I turned to look Eomma standing there. Dressed up in a dirty grey dress, she waved at me.
I rushed to her and hugged her tightly while she knelt down to my height. Soohyun's Eomma and she walked to us. "Nice to meet you, Y/N's Mother. Umm....your daughter is cute." She reluctantly said, giving my mother glares from top to bottom and then fake smiling.
"Nice to meet you too." My Eomma smiled. I clutched onto her dress as she put her palm on my head. "Wait, I think I know you." Sohyun's Eomma suddenly said, her face breaking into recognisation. "A-aren't you that lady whose husband left her and who lives in the c-cemetery grounds?"
Eomma's eyes got watery as she picked me in her arms and carried me out. I wiped them with my palms. I could hear Sohyun's mother yelling at her daughter "Yah! Why were you playing with such children? Have you forgotten your level?"
The world doesn't judge us for who we are, but for how we dress, where we live and what we possess. And my reality is that I didn't have much to wear, a better place to live than that old house in the cemetery ground and all that I possessed was my Eomma, that I have now lost.
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