The Mental Cage

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I was falling, and then I wasn't. That's how it normally works, but in order to stop falling then somthing has to break your fall. In this case it was water. I've always loved to swim, such a nice way to block out the world around you, the hustle and bustle of every day life. It's a good way to focus on the good and push away the bad, in a metaphorical sense of course.

I was at the bottom of the ocean, or maybe it was a lake, staring up. It was eerie and dark. Nobody really thinks about what it looks like from underneath the water, but there I was. I sat on a rock, staring at the ripples from below.

I felt like I was moving through honey as I blinked and drew my knees to my chest. I felt alone because I was. There was nobody or anything. I looked around for a fish or something living, but there was nothing but darkness. I looked back up to the surface. I could see the light catching and bouncing off the small ripples above, but even as I watched, it started to dim. It slower got darker until the inky nothingness seeped into my bones and chilled my blood.

I could feel my heart flutter in protest, but when I went to move, to chase after the small spots of light, I felt weighed down. I was drowning, I was suffocating. I needed out.

My head throbbed and my heart hammered against my ribs. I was scared. I was alone.

I pulled my knees closer and wrapped my arms around myself. I was chained, trapped in a watery grave. My memories filtered through my mind's eye with an intense clarity that had me questioning my forgetfulness. My head pounded with the intensity. My thoughts were jumbled, but they were there, one right after the other. 

I looked up as I realized where I was and who I was.

I fell off the bridge.

 As soon as that realization hit me my world turned upside down, or maybe it was right-side up. I squeezed my eyes shut as the everything turned and twisted in a jumbled mess. My stomach heaved as I broke the surface of the water.

I tried to open my eyes, but they were sealed shut. I tried to move my legs and arms, but the gravity of the earth was too much for my weak muscles and even weaker bones. I strained to do anything. I could feel the gentle rise and fall of my chest, the small twitching of my eyelids, but I was powerless to do anything. I was trapped in a prison made up of my own flesh and blood.

But I could hear. I could hear the movements of people all around me. Some whispered while others poked and prodded. I struggled to identify where I was, was I home? I doubt that.

"What're we going to do with her? We have to make it look natural."

"Hmm, yes, what a stroke of luck we got when she fell and hit her head. Now there will be no doubt that she died from complications of head trauma."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. The physician has already concluded that there will be some brain damage, so it's not too far of a reach for her to succumb to her injuries. Besides, she's nothing but a bastard. Nobody will look into her death."

"Are you positive. The servants whisper about her and the duke."

"Pft. Nothing but loose lips. Once she's dead we will have nothing to worry about."

"We just need to make sure she dies."

"I don't think that'll be a problem."

My heart continued its steady rhythm even as I continued to drown in my eternal silence. Even as I slipped in and out of consciousness.

I was alone, so utterly alone.

My only companion were the voices of the people around me. Annalina made a visit. She read a book, which was actually a nice experience.Something to fill the silence. Still, I could feel the atmosphere stiffen and go stale as the days slowly slid past. I lost all concepts of reality. I didn't know the time, the day, the month. 

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