Beautifully Confused

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Hazel smoothed her dress and pressed the back of her hands to her cheeks to cool them down. "It is quiet alright. I don't think we should let these desires consume us. It'll make for an unhealthy relationship if we let ourselves be completely... devoured by those sinful actions."

"Sinful actions?" We had only kissed. Right?

"Yes. I accept your apology and as much as I enjoied that, I am going to have to ask you to refrain from doing such things, especially in such a private setting. Those are wifely duties that I will oblige to when it is time to produce a heir." She delicately placed a curl over her shoulder as she recomposed herself and walked to a respectable distance. If anyone were to find us there would be no questions asked that this was just an innocent meeting. "As a proper gentleman I expect you to behave accordingly."

I nodded, not taking in any of her words as I realized that even when I thought I had pushed Blue from my thoughts she still lingered there, somewhere in my subconscious.

The hate I had for her reflared. She was interrupting my betrothal to Hazel without so much as lifting a finger. She didn't even remember our deal for godsakes and she still managed to get under my skin!

How does she do it?


I walked away from Theodore's study with Kingsley at my side. Our pace was slow and aimless. I expected him to walk away, but was pleasantly surprised when he matched his steps to my own dragging feet. 

I scuffed them against the ground as I concentrated on the barrier in my mind. It was relenteless and once I felt the familiar dull throbbing that resonated behind my eyes I stopped and rubbed my temples.

"What bothers you my fiesty Blue?" Kingsley's soft, teasing voice forced a sigh from my lips as I thought back on the last couple days. 

"Just my head, nothing too serious." I glanced to the side to see his light brown eyes focused on me as the humor slowly faded. I smiled, trying to lighten the unexpected seriousness of the situation. 

"I'd say that's well important." His lips twitched in a small smile. 

I laughed, I seemed to have rubbed people the wrong way, but Kingsley didn't act like I had donr anything to him. Maybe someone was spared from my former wrath. 

I must have been a horrible person. 

Shame at the unknown filled me.

I needed to work harder and be better. I didn't know who I was before, or how I acted, but this seemed like a nice place, and an even nicer family. I don't know my circumsances. I don't know how I ended up here, but perhaps loosing my memory was the best thing that could happen to me. 

We walked into the outdoors together. The gardens were captivating as they surrounded us in a cacoon of greenery and fresh flower smells. 

"I must've been a horrible person." I stared straight ahead as my question came out as a statement. 

Kingsley scoffed. I could see him look at me from the corner of my eye, but I continued to stare at the gardens, refusing to meet his eyes becuase of the disgust I thought I would see there. "No, but certainly not what any of us were expecting." 

I hummed and let my hands trail on some of the flowers we passed them. Their petals brushed against my fingertips in a soothing manner.

I laughed, "I think you're lying to me." 

"No," He smiled and his teasing tone became apparent as he held a hand to his chest and posed in an offended manner, "I wouldn't lie if my life depended on it. I am a gentleman and I would never do such a monsterous thing as to destroy my image of perfect gentlemanly behavior." 

My cheeks hurt as I smiled and chuckled at his childish antics. "Come on," I nudged his shoulder, "I must've been absolutely horrendous to have Theodore, his fiance, and his sister all hate me. Also, some of the servants have been giving me the stink eye."

"The stink eye?" He raised a questioning brow.

"Yeah," I nodded at I stopped and turned to him. I clapsed my hands in front of me and twistd my fingers. I felt nervous as we faced each other and I looked up at him for the first time since we embarked on this stroll, "the stink eye, the eye people give you when you've done wrong or they're suspiscious of you for doing something..." I paused before saying once again, "The stink eye."

I blushed as his honey eyes trailed down to my twisting fingers and then back to my face. I felt uncertain as to my place here. And I think he saw that in my eyes because the humor left the slight lilt of his lips and his eyes softened, "You really don't remember." It sounded like he had just reached that realization himself. 

By hearing it, by hearing someone else say that I couldn't remember squat, caused something in my chest to tighten. I reached up and wiped my cheeks to rid them of the sudden wetness that was there. I felt alone, but then Kingsley reached out and clasped a hand in his. 

"Wipe those tears." He pulled a small white cloth from his pocket and handed it to me, "No use in those. He gently smiled as his humor started to shine through once again, "Theodore is just confused and Hazel doesn't like that." 

I squeezed his hand before slipping it from his and using it to wipe my cheeks and runny nose with the piece of cloth he gave me. "Confused about what?"

Kingsley's brow twitched but that was his only reaction. I noticed as he effectively steered the conversation away. "About life stuff." He waved his hand through the air, "Unimportant. What is important is that I can help you." 

I turned and set a gentle pace to our walk as I questioned him, "How?" 

He clasped his hands behind his back as we continued our way through the garden, "I can help you remember who you were. I'll show you what you used to do, how you used to act, and who you liked and disliked. I'll also teach you the proper ways of this wretched place." He rolled his eyes at the end. 

I thought about his words for a moment before asking, "What would you get in return." 

"I only ask for a chance." 

"A chance?" I had no idea what he was talking about, " A chance at what?"

There was another pause in our conversation as he didn't answer. I looked over to see him pull out a pocket watch and check the time. He flipped it close and dropped it back in his pocket before answering me, "Well, seems that I am running a tiny bit late."

He turned to me and slightly bowed, " Our sessions will start tomorrow, meet me here at noon." He tipped his head and then walked away from me in long strides that easily carried him back to the house in half the time it took us to walk here. I looked around at the thicket of rose bushes I was surrounded by and then looked back up. 

He was already gone. I didn't give him an answer to his deal, but I think he knew. Just like I knew that at noon tomorrow I would be standing here.  



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