Bryan and I spend a lot of time texting the next day while I’m at work. In between every client I’m replying to his messages, and he’s just as funny and quirky as I remember. It’s reassuring.
His personality stayed constant, but his look sure didn’t. I’m actually kind of shocked when I go through the different photos on his profile. He cut his hair, and it looks so much better. He also lost the purple that he used to put in it. To be honest, I kinda miss that. Plus, this may sound weird, but his teeth aren’t as crooked as I thought. I think while we were separated I morphed him into something he really wasn’t. But he’s handsome. And I know before he didn’t seem like the kind of guy I would usually go for, but just with these little changes, I already feel like I relate to him better. He’s familiar, yet new.
After a long day of texting him, and a little flirting on his end, he suggests we meet to catch up in person. He offers a space to talk about Scott if needed, otherwise just to hang out. He says he thinks it would help both of us after how our friendship ended. I have to say, it seems like we both matured a lot in six months.
I agree, a little hesitant, but I want to. The only reason I hesitate is because I spent so long bad-mouthing him that I feel guilty restarting a friendship. But he really cared for me, and he is kind, and not gonna lie, I could use some personal connection right now.
We plan for dinner the next night, which is pretty soon, but he doesn’t seem like he wants to wait. He’s sweet and says that he’s missed me a lot and is excited to see me in person again.
I consult Kirstie later about it. She’s neutral on the whole situation, saying as long as I’m comfortable, it should be fine. To give him a chance, but she also reminds me that when I told her about him, I described him as a little creepy. Basically she just tells me to be careful.
After Bryan asked me out (don’t know if he meant it as a date type thing, but we’re meeting at a nearby restaurant and probably paying separate, so I don’t think so), he doesn’t text me as much. I think he wants to give me some space. I appreciate it. Otherwise I feel like I’d run out of things to talk to him about. My life just isn’t that interesting.
The next evening I head home to shower and change after work, then I drive over to the restaurant. I park, the nerves not fully hitting me until this moment. I’m actually about to see Bryan. The man I walked out on because he wouldn’t leave me alone. Why did I open myself up to that again?
Sometimes I feel so stupid.
I text him that I’m here. We’re still messaging through the dating app, which doesn’t make sense because we still have each other on Facebook. Maybe even Snapchat. But neither of us wanted to change where we were communicating. I think then it would be like moving into the past. This app is like a new beginning for us.
He replies when he’s there, so I anxiously make myself get out of my car even though I feel like driving away. Suddenly I start thinking of Scott, and this is the worst time to think about Scott because I’ve already been having trouble eating, and he really hated Bryan, and I don’t want my heart to ache throughout this entire night. That would be unfair to me and to him.
I lean against my car, waiting for Bryan to come find me. The parking lot isn’t that big or anything, but for some reason he still hasn’t gotten out of his car.
Me: ok, waiting for u in the parking lot by my car
Maybe that will speed him up. But as soon as I hit send, I see him walking towards me, so that’s embarrassing, because now he’ll probably read that text in front of me. Out of politeness, I slip my phone into my back pocket and lift my body off the car to greet him. But I let him come all the way to me.