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I woke up from my trance after a sudden halt of the bus. I adjusted my seat and glance at the window at the once familiar traffic of Bangkok. I felt my cheeks and it was wet with tears. I didn't realized how long I've been silently crying brought by the bittersweet memories of that fateful day. The long hour drive back to Bangkok is physically exhausting but I can't feel any of that.

I just wanted to go home. See my Mom, my Dad and Phun. I have lost count on how long I've stared blankly at the dark horizon. I took the soonest available bus ride as soon as the doctor gave me a go signal. I couldn't care less even if it's a midnight trip. After bidding goodbye to family for twelve years..It was both painful and happy. But they understand and I couldn't be more thankful. After almost taking forever to say our goodbyes, here i embarked on my journey back where my real family is..

Time seems too slow while sitting on the bus ride. If I could, I would have flown to Bangkok now. I watched as the scenery changed from mountain ranges to tall buildings. From the dark night till the full daylight.

I clenched my palm and held tightly Phun's tag hanging by my neck. I wanted to take in some of its strength. My heart fells so full, of so much things going on inside. There's excitement, happiness, sadness and things hard to put into words.

The bus finally stopped at our destination. I got down from the bus with a single backpack on my shoulder and a heart full of uncertainty. I inhaled one deep breath and take in the Bangkok air. Funny how the place seems familiar yet it felt different.

The terminal buzzes with so much of everything going on. But to me, everything seem to be slower. I stood there awkwardly in the middle of the crowd. People going here and there, laughing, chatting, running and even bumping against me. I feel so lost. I don't know what to do first. Thinking of going home is much simpler than actually being here now. Somehow the years I was gone have sink into me now.

How would Mom and Dad react when they see me? Will they still recognize me? They might have already think that I'm dead. Dad had explained how terrible the earthquake was. And if they do, would it scare them to see me again? My Mom and Dad are a lot older than, being surprised to this extent might not be good to them.

Should I contact Phun instead? But I didn't have his number?

Maybe I should see Ohm, that guy is tough. He can take a surprise...But then again seeing your "dead friend" might be too much for that guy. Plus I don't know if he still lives there.

Funny how my fears dissipates a I took my step towards the exit. Each steps becomes bigger and wider till I find myself running further.

"Ekamai", I quickly replied when Uncle Driver asked.

I keep breathing deeply, inhale...exhale as our car painfully traversed the road, biting my lips to control all my emotions stirring up, fighting the urge to tear up. I keep fiddling my arms and my knees just can't stay put. Normally you wouldn't miss the heavy traffic but I guess when one's been away for so long, everything seems to pull a special warmth in you.

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