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Yeah I actually forget to tell you about my prom night

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Yeah I actually forget to tell you about my prom night.

A phrase that sums up that evening?

WORST. DAY. OF. MY. LIFE.

Honestly. It was terrible. 

It actually started quite good tho. 

I was getting ready at home and honestly I was so fucking nervous and yet excited as hell. We called a cab and drove to the location the prom took place (it's called 'Kurhaus') and when I got out of the cab everyone was looking at me, which was the fear I had before. But not even seconds after that everyone kept looking away and that was actually what happened the whole evening. There was a girl that walked up to me and said that I was looking beautiful, which kinda made me happy. Another girl said "Oh my god! You? In a dress? I never thought I'd ever see that!". That kinda hurt tbh. She didn't know me well and yet she said that. Yes, I'm always wearing pants, that's true. I don't really like dresses or skirts (even tho I'm getting more used to it than before) but I actually wore them sometimes. She didn't even say "You look beautiful" or "You look so ugly, you fat ass bitch", she just said "I wasn't expecting seeing you in a dress". Like thanks, I guess?

After that we had to take a group photo, which meant the whole year had to stand together on the stairs of the house and those binches in front and behind of me kept pushing and pulling their stupid bodies against me just to get the perfect shot. Ha, guess what? I saw the pictures and they look stupid whereas I'm looking good lmao. Karma is a bitch. 

When we finished taking photos (it took like ten minutes) a boy called Dylan walked up to me, said "Hi" and hugged me. I was so confused but hugged him back. He was in my major subject english class and we were talking a bit at school, but that's it. Maybe he hugged me because I was always friendly and funny to him. I dunno. 

When we were finally allowed to enter the building the nightmare began. We got inside and it was so dark you couldn't really see a thing, the tables were very short and there was almost no space left to walk. There was no music, because the organisations team had the idea to let a girl, who couldnt sing (sorry but that's true), sing five songs. 'Shut Up And Dance With Me' by Walk The Moon was sung twice and it sounded so sad one wanted to cry. The food was fucking expensive (it cost me 15 bucks) and disgusting, the drinks (we ordered four bottles of water, which did cost 40 bucks all together) were too expensive and the atmosphere was terrible.

You couldn't hear a thing when someone was talking through the microphone and even when that girl was singing... seriously if you didn't know the lyrics you wouldn't have understood a single word. It was terrible. They played FIVE songs in FOUR HOURS. There was a boy who sang 'Hallelujah' and 'Hit The Road Jack' and it sounded better than whatever the girl was trying to do there. My three friends and I we danced to some instrumental music that was played by the live band and we had lots of fun doing so. Everyone was waltzing or dancing whatever studied dances and we were just improvising. But when that girl started singing 'Wake Me Up When September Ends' by Green Day I completely lost my shit. She fucking ruined that song. I sat down at our table and my friends were complaining too. That evening was super boring and at one point my best friend Léo said "This is supposed to be one of the greatest days of our lives. But all I wanna do now is cry". She was so upset. We spent so much money for actually nothing. I mean we had fun when we were dancing and talking, but that evening was such a disappointment.

And the worst thing was yet to come.

My male best friend Konny ignored me like I was some sort of shitbag. We know each other since we were 10 and we were very close. We got out of sight when our classes got split up in 7th grade but found each other in 11th grade again. We were always joking around and having fun, he treated my like a princess, a queen. He was such a good friend. But we had our oral exams one week before the prom and I asked him what he got in arts class and he said he screwed it up. After that I asked him how he was, how he was feeling, if he wanted to do something and that I would always be there for him. What did he do? He blocked me on WhatsApp (I'm still blocked btw). He didn't even look at me at the prom. He stood in front of me, beside me and passed me by without even looking at me. On purpose. He held his chin up high and walked through the halls like the king of the world. It made me so angry and I still don't know why he did this. Why he treated me like this. I wanted to say hi and he completely ignored me. My best friend said it was super obvious that there was this kind of tension between us. I really wanted to cry. My male best friend treated me like I was a dirtbag. Like a stranger. Like I had the plague. It hurt so much and it still does when I'm thinking back to the day he did this. That friendship didn't last. He tore it apart and I don't even know why. He walked out of my life on that night. Forever. And I don't want him to come back. I'm glad he's gone so I know he wasn't worth my friendship and my time. I loved him like a brother, which is why it hurts even more. But I'm looking forward. I often catch myself thinking about texting him to see if I'm still blocked (I deleted our chat so I cant see it anymore) but I don't know if I'm ready to let him come back into my life ever again.

And with that, my evening was ruined. Completely.

'Hit The Road Jack' was played right after he did this and my bestie said "Yo! That is YOUR song!" And she was right. We went to the dancefloor where he was standing and talking to his friends and we danced and sang our hearts and souls out. 

My best friends' father (they are twins) drove us back home at 11pm and 'Thrift Shop' was on the radio. We told him how terrible our evening was and he felt pity with us. So he turned the car radio volume to max and we drove through the night, windows down and belting out the lyrics of 'Thrift Shop'. I was super happy. That was the best moment of that evening.

My ex-bestfriend? Sometimes I catch myself missing him. But I don't care anymore. 

So yeah. My prom night. 

"This is supposed to be one of the greatest days of our lives. But all I wanna do now is cry"

xoJen

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