He Can't Do ...That

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Gruesome Dialogue

Hooman #1: Greg! Gregory Bowser Allman!

Hooman #A: He's killing that lizard!

Greg: Death of a thousand cuts!

Centaurian #S: Yaaah! Blasted—YAAAH! Feline...!

Hooman #1: Ohmy—

Hooman #A: W-whoa! Ohhh... Oh wow.

Hooman #1: Where did he learn to do that!?

Hooman #A: Woman next door told me he did that to a squirrel once.

Hooman #1: There's no way.

Hooman #A: Yeah, I didn't want to believe her, either.

Greg: And that is how you slay a lizard!

Hooman #1: There's no way I'm doing it.

Hooman #A: Yeah, umm, we don't need the Happy Rock?

Greg: Yes we do—

Hooman #1: I agree with the murderous cat. He can't do ...that, then we just walk away without the rock.

Hooman #A: I feel sick.

Greg: And you will feel much sicker if you do not retrieve the Happy Rock! It's our only weapon against their current American leader...

Hooman #1 & #A: Say what?

Hooman #1: He doesn't mean Orange Man, does he?

Hooman #A: He couldn't...

Hooman #1 & #A: Hashtag notmypresident.

Hooman #1 & #A: Hashtag notmypresident

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First draft: July 18

Second draft: September 18

Word count: 188

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