Disfigured

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Author: oceane_breeze

Genre: Fantasy


The cover is lovely and it perfectly encompasses the story. The mask on the cover seems to symbolize how Tyra was forced to hide her face, and the cover as a whole is very appealing and attention-grasping. The title matches the story just as well, as Tyra is considered to be "deformed" or "disfigured."

I didn't find many grammatical or punctuation errors, but I noticed some awkward sentences that could be changed to flow more smoothly:
Chapter 1: "The field that housed the celebration was already filled to bursting with people." The section that says "filled to bursting" doesn't make much sense, so I suggest that you make a slight adjustment. Perhaps changing the word "to" to "and." This would make the sentence a bit easier to understand. 
Chapter 2: Very minor mistake here, but I noticed a missing quotation mark where you wrote "Why are you here?' Tyra demanded coldly."

Chapter 3: Small run-on sentence at the end of the chapter: "As the sword fell Tyra screamed." This could be fixed by adding a comma between "fell" and "Tyra," or changing the sentence to something like "Tyra screamed as the sword fell."

The story moves at a very nice and consistent pace, and there aren't any sections that are particularly boring or difficult to follow. The lengths of the chapters also cover a perfect amount of information, and they don't drag the audience through anything unrelated. They aren't too long nor too short. 

The plot is quite realistic and vivid. At the time the story seems to take place, people born with birthmarks or other "deformities," as they were referred to, were often killed or mutilated. The prologue does a spectacular job of explaining the thoughts of Tyra's parents when she was born and how people would view Tyra in the future. 

The characters are very thoroughly developed, and the audience has no trouble following the story. Tyra is a very unique character, and it is quite entertaining to read the story from her viewpoint. Additionally, the dialogue fits the story perfectly. Often times, stories like this are written with a modern dialogue, which makes them seem highly unrealistic. You do a spectacular job of molding the dialogue with the characters and the setting. 

I particularly like how Tyra is a rather sensitive character, yet she acts stubbornly and relentlessly towards others. It is interesting to read how her attitude and view of the world changes as the story progresses. It is also refreshing to read a story with such diverse characters; a blind boy and a girl who isn't considered beautiful are quite unique, as most authors develop their characters so that they are "perfect." It is also interesting to understand how Tyra became so independent, as many women in the past were seen as weak and they were looked down on if they expressed any interest in learning how to defend themselves. 

Alek also has a dry sense of humor that draws a laugh from the audience. He is quite optimistic considering where he grew up and that he is blind. This makes your readers appreciate what they have and it forces them to think about the disadvantages that other people face and how they learn to work with what they have. 

Overall, I thought the story was incredibly unique, and the setting was very interesting. The characters are relatable and likable, and the story as a whole sends out a strong message! 


*Analysis is based on the first 5 chapters

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