One. || h.s.

Fifty Two.

Harry is still laying on the bed, his phone in his hands and his eyebrows furrowed slightly.  He glances up at me when I walk in and shoves his phone back in his pocket before standing from the bed. 

"Who was that?" I ask as I rummage through my drawers.

"Gem, she wants to meet us both for coffee next week," he says casually, walking over to me and leaning against the dresser.

"Oh," I say, avoiding his gaze.  I will tell Harry about finding Gemma a job soon, but for now it's not first on my list of priorities.

I change into something clean and cozy while Harry stares off into the distance with his arms crossed over his chest.  He asks me again several times if I'm sure I want to go, to which I answer that I do every single time. 

It's not until we're in the car and almost to the hospital that the emptiness in my stomach is replaced with fear and anxiety.  I hadn't thought about what would happen when we got there until now.  I haven't seen my sister yet, I don't know what condition she's in or how's she's even doing.  I don't know if she even wants to see me.  I don't know if I can handle seeing her.  It's too late now, though. 

I draw in slow breaths, Harry's hand on my thigh keeping me centered.  He glances over at me from time to time and gives me a smile or squeezes my leg.  I don't know what I would do without him.

We get to the hospital and a nurse gives us Jessica's floor and room number.  Harry takes my hand as we walk and laces his fingers with mine.  We walk in silence matching the silence of the halls.  The lack of noise allows my thoughts to consume me and I start to feel the familiar prick of tears behind my eyes.  Even with Harry here beside me, I can't escape what I'm feeling.

"Harry..."

"Hmm."

"What if... what if..." I mutter, the words not finding my tongue quick enough before the tears start to fall.

Harry stops walking and pulls me into his arms.  He hugs me close and I bury my face in his chest, soaking his white long sleeve through.  His arms are tight around me and he rests his cheek on top of my head.

Tears fall and my breaths are shaky, all my fear finding an outlet.  I feel like I will never be ready to see her.  There's been a hollow feeling in my gut since I got Terry's message yesterday and it hasn't faded in the slightest.  It's almost the same feeling you get when someone close to you passes away and you can't process what's actually happened.  My head hurts and my chest is tight with worry.  I just want to stay here in Harry's arms and never have to be anywhere else. 

"You'll be okay," Harry whispers, pulling me away from him finally and lifting his hands to my face.  He uses the pads of his thumbs to wipe away some of my tears.  His eyes hold mine, bright jade, and a soft smile rests on his face.  "It will all be okay."

I nod and take his hand again.  He leans down to kiss my forehead and guides me forward the last few feet to the door of my sister's room.

"Maybe - maybe you should wait out here," I say quietly, turning to look up at him.

He pulls his bottom lip between his teeth and furrows his eyebrows.  "You're sure you can go in there alone?"

I nod, despite the doubt I feel.

He nods too, his face relaxing.  "Leave the door open, yeah?" 

"Okay," I answer quietly. 

He leans down to kiss me lightly before giving me one last smile and turning away to take a seat further down the hall.