𝔉𝔦𝔫𝔞𝔩 𝔈𝔵𝔦𝔱 ✪ ybn | 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝.

XVIII

"It may seem like our fire / has been a little burned out, we're tired / we only need to stay close, in time / sparks will fly (and we fly too, and we, and we fly too)," — J. Cole, Jhené Aiko x Sparks Will Fly.

BLAZE PULLS HER knees to her chest as her temples began to throb, resulting in a headache. She groaned as she held herself tightly. She felt disgusted with herself to take apart of what was done last night. She knew she couldn't face either of them afterwards; she couldn't look one in the eye for how guilty she is.

Before the jacuzzi tub she sat in could overflow, she twists the knob, turning the water off. She lets her hair loose from its ponytail, causing it to flow down her back and into the warm, pineapple-mango scented, bubble bath.

More as she thought about last night, the more she began to hate herself. She felt used and manipulated.

Tears began to stroll down her cheeks as she takes her puff and began to scrub her skin, harshly, trying to scrub away the feeling of their skin being on hers. No matter how much she scrubbed, the feeling was still there.

She had thrown the puff at the wall where the tub's faucet resided. She rocked back and forth as everything came tearing her down. She began to sob.

From being molested, raped(not once, but twice), forced to intake drugs, being a lone child, and enduring heartbreaks; she felt as if they were her fault and how they could've been avoided. Deep inside, she was broken. All the smiles you see her wear, they would be false.

She couldn't explain on how she was hurting; to her, it was unexplainable. No matter how much detail she spoke about her passive situations, they wouldn't be explained all in the same way.

Lifting her face, which was drenched in tears, she heard her phone ringing. A call was incoming.

She stretched, wiping her fingers on a spare towel, she grabs her phone from the glass stand that rested beside the tub.

"Hello?" she answers.

"Hey, Blaze. We need you down here today."

"Molly, what are you talking about?" Blaze asked.

It was rare when Molly called. Molly was apart of the Pin in Los Angeles. She only called when there was a problem that had to be resolved.

"I'm talking about you have to be at the warehouse today! I hope you didn't forget who you are outside the public's eye," Molly says with attitude.

"Of course not, Molly. What time I have to be there because I have to be at XXL at 12 o'clock, then I have to hit the studio at 3 o'clock," Blaze sighed, thinking about who she didn't want to see.

"Just come before 12 A.M.," she said before hanging up. After Molly had done so, Blaze checked the time on her phone; it was eleven o'clock in the morning. She finished washing her body before letting the bath water drain. She then turned on the shower to rinse the leftover suds off her body.

She wraps a towel around herself after she'd turn the nozzles, turning the water off. Walking to into her closet, she picked a vintage Tommy Hilfiger windbreaker(and shirt), light blue skinny jeans, and the Fila's Disrupter II's in white. Lotioning herself down with her wild honeysuckle scented bath and body works lotion(be having you smelling like a shnack). She did what she needed before she put her curly hair into a effortless bob.

Applying her clear lipgloss, she heard the front down shutting downstairs. She stares at her room door, knowing it could be three people. Lulu, Hanney, and Nahmir.

Hanney knocked before coming in, "I see you're all ready! We're going to XXL in a few minutes."

Blaze nodded, "Alright."

Walking through the private entrance of the XXL Freshman's building, all Blaze saw was red and white neon lights in a big, black room with a DJ mixer. She seen the camera setting up his camera before a woman who dressed like a stripper, named Stefflon Don, a man who wore a 'Revenge' hoodie, known as WifisFuneral, and finally the boy she dreaded to see... he was dressed in a golden-yellow windbreaker, black biker jeans, and multicolored belenciaga's—it was YBN Nahmir.

Hanney told her to stand in the sideline until it was her turn for her cypher. She watched as their cypher's began. Starting with Nahmir.

He was legit freestyling; he really stuttered over his words, but he switched his flow, which sort of disturbed his sync with the beat. Other than that, he snapped!

Stefflon Don was fantastic, even though Blaze never heard of her. Wifi didn't seem like he wanted to be there or wasn't trying.

    When Blaze finished her cypher along with two other rappers, found Nahmir staring at her in the sidelines. She felt intimidated under his stare. She couldn't even breathe right during her freestyle because of him.

      She quickly, quietly walked offstage to Hanney.

"When are we leaving?" she asked in anticipation, fidgeting with her fingers and all. She felt powerless at this very moment.

         "Why are you in such a hurry, darling?" she asked, frowning.

     "I'm ready to go home," Blaze rolls her eyes with a slight attitude, but flinched with Nahmir moved his frame off the wall.

        "We aren't leaving yet. Help yourself to the refreshments over there," Hanney pointed to the table of finger foods and drinks.

     "But—oh my gah!" Blaze walks over to the refreshment table. She felt a presence behind her.

    Shit.