Chapter 11-Connection

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"Too young to hold on and too old to just break free and run"-Jeff Buckley, Lover, You Should've Come Over


"Please Gabe....please!", the text said. It was from Landry and she was driving me crazy. She was a co-worker and we weren't super close or anything, but she was the first person to treat me like a friend instantly at work, so we would hang out together once a week or so. She was begging me to come out with her, I absolutely didn't want to, but she finally got her mother to take her baby and had the house to herself, she needed a night out.

I just stared at the text and then another came through. I made an audible groan of annoyance.

"Gabe. Having a little get together tonight, are you cool if we have it here? We can do it on the rooftop...grill out and do a little night time bbq?", Steve asked.

Great, now I'm expected to be doubley social. Then I thought of an idea. Landry could just come to our party and I didn't have to leave or even socialize much. They knew I preferred to be alone most of the time so they never took it personally when I mingled for 20 minutes and then disappeared.

To Landry: "Steve is having a thing tonight, do you wanna come here instead? Grill out, drinks, boys...", I said to her. I figured if I mentioned boys she would agree.

"Hell yeah! What time?", she asked.

"I'll get back to you, I'm texting Steve about it.", I said. She just responded with an emoji.

To Steve: "Hey yeah sounds good, i invited a friend from work if that's okay, she's bugging me to go out, but id rather hang with you guys", I said (total lie, I'd rather not hang with anyone)

"Sounds great...say around 1900.", he said. His military time always made me chuckle.

I texted Landry and told her and she seemed really excited. I figured I better prepare emotionally, drink a lot of energy drinks and psyche myself up. I wasn't in the mood to socialize and I wasn't in the mood to face Bucky, but we had been quiet around one another anyway, neither of us confronting each other so I figured it would stay that way, even though it tore me up inside.

I finished getting ready, I actually wore makeup and looked somewhat presentable. Landry told me to wear the jade green shirt she got me. I hated it, it was one of those off the shoulder things that was all flowy and caused me to show more cleavage than I wanted, but I wasn't used to wearing nice clothing so I didn't know how to wear them. 

I threw on some skinny jeans and comfortable black flats

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I threw on some skinny jeans and comfortable black flats. I left my hair down. It was just past my shoulders, dark brown and layered, I hated it too because it didn't feel like me, but Landry loved it. When we became friends, she had to teach me how to have to style, I had no idea what to wear aside from scrubs or pajamas. My whole life was neutral, bland colors. Long skirts, hair up, no makeup and covered from neck to ankles. It was strange showing skin after a lifetime of being told that only sinners show skin. I guess I'm a sinner now.

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