He slept peacefully for most of the night and had awoken by around 6am the next morning, his arms around Souda's waist, his head in his lap. He could feel the dried up tear stains on his cheeks. He yawned, rubbing his eyes, followed by a quiet groan. He didn't want to get up, though he knew he couldn't risk Souda asking about the scars. He didn't notice them that night, but Gundham had a slight feeling that he would get confronted by him now, considering he seemed to be a lot calmer. The two were both in the bathroom, Souda propped up against the wall.
He quickly gained some kind of sense of what was going on around him and he left to his room, to make sure everything he had written down was out of his boyfriend's sight. He knew he had ruined things, lied, made people feel bad, etc, but what could he do? he needed to feel better somehow. he couldnt keep going on like this, he hated himself even more for lying.
That's when it came to him. He was going to leave, not move, but die. It sounds fucked up, leaving all your loved ones in a cruel world, huh? It does, yes. But Gundham would much rather be free, and not have to feel pain anymore. The poor boy was only a teenager, barely 18. He didn't deserve his thoughts eating away at him everyday. He didn't deserve to feel as though the world was crumbling around him, that everyone he would ever care about would leave. He doesn't deserve to enjoy the idea of death.
Souda soon began to wake up, rubbing his eyes and groaning slightly, looking around at his surroundings. Everything soon came back to him, Gundham's breakdown, his suicide threats. His heart dropped as he stood up, fumbling around in his pockets to look for his phone, quickly typing a message to Gundham
SodaCrush: Gundham?? Babe? where are you?
"I'm in here," a faint, but deep voice came from the direction of Gundham's bedroom, where the tall, mentally unstable boy sat, a fake but somewhat genuine smile on his face, as he was making his bed, his room suspiciously and unnaturally tidy. The bubblegum haired teen walked in, smiling at the sight of his boyfriend, safe and calm. He wasn't going to ask Gundham what was wrong, though he was going to slowly wrap his arms around the taller boy, placing his forehead against his chest,, "i love you.." Gundham hummed in response, wrapping his arms around Kazuichi's waist, burying his face in his hair.
It hurt Gundham. The thought of one of these days being the last he would ever speak to his beloved Kazuichi again. How it would only be a few more days until all of the secrets he was hiding were out. Until the world saw the mess he made of himself, how his once perfectly smooth skin would forever be jagged and damaged with thick, deep scars. It hurt him, yet pleased him at the same time. He didn't want to leave, but he wanted the pain to stop. And it finally would, and that's all that Gundham had waited for.