You're feeling bad...
"Geoff is so hot."
You don't respond, not really sure how to respond to this highly gay comment from your boyfriend.
"We been knew," he continues. "Tea, shishter!" he yells, having a Twitter conversation with himself.
"I told you to stop doing that," you say, and he gives you a look. The two of you are lying on your bed together, Awsten taking up most of the space.
"And I told you to continue the thread if you want me to stop."
"Why can't you be normal?" you say, laughing slightly.
"Why can't you get on this fucking level?" he says, yelling toward the end.
"Awsten, for god's sake."
"God has nothing to do with this," he assures you, rolling over onto his stomach and putting his chin in his hands. "So when I say Geoff is so hot, what do you say?"
"I say yes, shishter," you reply sarcastically.
"Yassss," he says dramatically, and you can't help but laugh. He's so fucking weird, and he knows when you're feeling bad, he can act extra weird to cheer you up. It's endearing, really.
"Shishter, pass me the tea," you tell him.
"The tea is piping hot to-gay."
"Did you just say "to-gay"?"
He giggles, making you roll your eyes. He's cute, you'll give him that.
"I'm gay," he suddenly says, and you look at him.
"You're gay," you repeat.
"And I'm married to a frog."
And that's when you wake up.
You jerk awake, and you see Awsten beside you, looking like a snacc—I mean looking peaceful.
"Awsten," you whisper, and his eyes snap open.
"What?" he asks, his voice slightly hoarse.
"I had a dream about you."
"Ooh what were we doing?" he asks, his eyes shining in the dark.
"Not each other."
He pouts dramatically, and you roll your eyes.
"You kept saying Geoff is hot," you say, and he giggles.
"I mean, that's true."
"I know. And then you told me you're gay."
"GAY HOW OUTRAGEOUS!" he says loudly and over-dramatically.
"And you were married to a frog."
"You mean you."
"Don't drag me at two in the morning," you groan, trying not to laugh.
"When else am I supposed to drag you, then?"
"Maybe during the daytime," you tell him, and he nods seriously.
"So that's what you woke me up for. To tell me your dream Awsten is gay and married to a frog?"
"Well, I'm not fully gay or I'd be dating Geoff," he responds, lying back down and opening his arms for you. You wrap your arms around him, burying your face in his chest.
"I'm not fully gay either, or I'd be dating Chloë Grace Moretz," you respond.
"We still have our agreement, yes?" he replies.
"If we get a chance to be with either Chloë or Brendon Urie, we take the chance and can't be mad at each other."
"This is the sort of thing good relationships are built on," he replies.
You nearly snort, but he's not wrong.
"Yeah," you respond.
"I love you, Frog."
"I love you, too, Blueberry."
weird as fuck
I once said "togay"
And the thing about Brendon Urie was inspired by a viral tweet