Chapter 39

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Sipping my coffee I pushed the shopping cart down the sweetie aisle. 4.30am and here I was at Wal-Mart because I couldn't sleep. I had managed to slip out without waking Blaze and not receiving a phone call told me he was still sleeping. Food shopping at this time always cleared my head. Thinking about last night, meeting Sasha and then finding out about Duke.

Blaze fought my corner, he stuck up for me and finally took my side. But Duke was family and I wasn't prepared to break them apart for what had happened. Yes he took it to far and a part of me will always be cautious of him but I couldn't stand by and watch him cut him out. Placing some eggs and bacon into my cart I wasn't paying attention to where I was going until it was too late.

"Ava?"

"This is like deja vu" I smiled remembering the last time we bumped into each other in the supermarket. "How have you been Nate?".

"Except last time I took you home" He winked "I'm good Ava. Finally settled down in that big house of mine".

Why did I feel awkward?

"It's about time" I grinned "Its a beautiful house Nate it would be a shame not to live in it".

Rubbing a hand over the back of his neck I knew he felt the awkwardness between us.

"Do you feel as awkward as I do?" I asked sinking my teeth into my bottom lip. It had never been awkward then again the last time we spoke was at the hospital and if I remember correctly I was the one that told him to leave.

"Little bit" He shrugged "It's been a whirlwind these past few months. I can't seem to wrap my head around how it all turned out".

I think I had an idea where he was trying to take this conversation and having it in the middle of Wal-Mart was not the place. I know I treated him badly and unfairly but I couldn't be with him knowing my heart belonged to someone else, I couldn't kid myself. As cheesy as that sounded it was true. Blaze had his faults but we all had them. I didn't want him to be bitter about it but I couldn't blame him for being that way. I was the one in the wrong and I know I couldn't apologise enough for it.

"I'm sorry" I didn't know where it came from but I felt I had to say it. Nate was a good and genuine guy he just wasn't the one for me.

"No need to apologise Ava I knew deep down you were his. You always were I guess I was hoping I could have changed your mind but you'd have to be blind not to see how much you love him".

"I do" I whispered my gaze falling to the floor.

"How is he? Last time I heard he discharged himself from the hospital" Shaking his head he rubbed a hand over his face. He looked exhausted and worn out.

"Last time you heard?" I asked frowning. How did he know?

"He hates my guts we all know that but it doesn't mean I'll stop looking after him".

I was confused.

"Medical bills Ava. He was in hospital for a good few months".

"Why?" I asked. If he knew there was no relationship between them then why would he continue to look after him? Blaze was a grown ass man who could defiantly take care of himself.

"He's still my baby brother and-"....

"Guilt" I blurted out cutting him off. "You feel guilty don't you". Brother or not the relationship was one sided and I had no idea if they could ever fix it. Hanging his head in shame he gave me a nod.

"Money can't fix things Nate and if you want to have a relationship with him again then you have to work for it".

"He won't give me the time of day and the club won't welcome me. I don't just look after him because I feel guilty I like to know he's doing okay and if I transfer money every month then I know he's at least taking care of himself".

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