Chapter 17: Awkward

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Penny stood on the stoop of the Brooklyn brownstone that she'd called home until a few weeks ago. She moved to press the door buzzer, but she hesitated.

Maybe it was all a big mistake. She didn't have to go through with this. It wasn't too late. She could turn herself around and head back down into the into the subway. And go where exactly? She wasn't exactly drowning in options.

Her parents in Minnesota were the obvious choice, of course. If she picked up a phone and called them, she had no doubt they'd pay for her plane ticket home. But there would be a price for their help, far more expensive than a plane ticket.

It would mean telling her parents the truth.

For two years now, she'd been lying through her teeth to them. Just the thought of calling them now made her stomach turn. Two years of lie, upon lie, upon lie - each one compounding the last, like the interest on a credit card - until she'd dug herself a hole so deep, she feared she might never get out.

It had all started out innocently enough. She hadn't wanted them to worry when she made the decision to defer medical school, so she'd fudged the truth a little. She told them that she gave up her spot at Yale because her boss at Dewitt Hathaway had made her a job offer too good to pass up. It was just for a little while, she'd told herself, when she first came up with the story. Just a little white lie to smooth things over until she headed to medical school the following fall. They'd never know the difference.

The lies had continued ever since. As far as they knew, she was well on her way to a promotion and a six figure salary now. The idea of calling them up and confessing that she'd been temping for two years... that she'd burned through her savings and racked up a mountain of debt... No, she wasn't that desperate. Not yet.

Penny took a deep breath to steady her nerves and then pressed the buzzer firmly. A voice crackled over the intercom: "Hello?"

Was that Cora or Lauren? Not that it really matter. Penny had a feeling neither one of them would be embracing her with open arms when they found out the reason for her visit.

"Hey, it's Penny!" she said into the intercom. "Can I come up?"

The door buzzed in response, and Penny began the long march up the four flights of stairs to her old apartment door. She could just imagine the way Lauren would look at her when she explained her situation. That knowing, I-told-you-so look that Penny had seen so many times before. No, she couldn't stomach it. Penny paused at the second landing and considered turning back around.

If only she'd passed the MCAT. Then at least she'd have some positive progress to report. Instead, she found herself right back where she'd started. Back at square one. Or maybe worse. Maybe more like square negative one.

She'd slid into the test center last Saturday with only seconds to spare before they locked the door. The proctor had handed her the test packet, and she'd been so shaken she could barely write her name at the top of the answer sheet. Her clothes were soaked.Her heart wouldn't stop pounding. Her mind wouldn't stop going back to that chance encounter on the street. The way he had looked....The way he had sounded.... The way it had felt to have his arm around her waist....

She'd struggled for ten minutes to answer the first question, and she'd known it wasn't going to work. Not that day. Not with the way she kept hugging his sweatshirt to warm herself against the blast of the A/C - and imagining that it wasn't just his sweatshirt....

She'd voided her score and walked out before she made to question two.

It wasn't the end of the world, she'd told herself. No harm done. She still had plenty of time to re-take it. She'd logged onto the test center website and pulled out her credit card to pay the registration fee, and that's when she found out she had less time than she thought. That moment when she clicked "Submit" and those little red letters appeared at the top of her screen:

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