C H A P T E R 17

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The fault dear...is not in our stars, but in ourselves.

London, England

|Two weeks later|

"Hey, you wanted to see me." I said walking into his apartment.

"Have a sit." He said.

"What's going on, Harry?" I asked.

Harry didn't say anything for a long time; he just traced my face very lightly with the tip of his index finger, watching every centimeter of my skin as if trying to memorize me.

There was something very sad about the moment. Almost as if he tried to memorize a dream after waking up, knowing he'd forget it soon enough.

The knots on my stomach never disappeared, as I started to realize that this was not a good moment at all. And suddenly I felt like crying. Why did I feel like crying?

"Tell me what's on your mind." I begged.

His hand fell to rest on my waist again and he gulped; his blue eyes stared at me in doubt as he struggled to decide if he should lie to me or not.

"I don't think I can say goodbye to you anymore." He told me, and now I knew the tears would soon be clouding my vision.

Because now I knew why I felt like crying: because it felt like a goodbye.

"...what are you trying to say?" I asked, whispery, holding his gaze with the bit of strength I had, trying to be strong.

I wondered if this was the moment he decided he had had enough. Was the distance finally too much? Was my job finally keeping me too busy? Was the world's opinion of me finally too negative? Is this when he breaks up with me? Is this when another one walks away?

I was thinking that would be moment we broke up – as I had always knew it would happen sooner or later. After all, breakups were all I knew. Goodbyes were far too common for me.

I did not expect his next words to be this:

"I think we should move in together."


If Harry was expecting a different reaction, he didn't show it. In fact, I was almost completely sure I reacted exactly like he thought I would. I could feel my face in a pout as I leaned back from his embrace to look at him, a question mark written all over me.

"I think we should move in together." He repeated, extraordinarily calm, a little louder and clearer as if my hearing was the only problem with his idea.

There was a long silence as I tried to think of... well, anything. I was so confused and shocked by his proposition my mind went completely blank. It's almost like there was so many reasons why that would never work that my mind just rebooted itself.

"I know what you're thinking." He started.

"I doubt that very much." I replied. If he did, he wouldn't have even considered that.

"Nicole," he said, "I can almost see the smoke coming out of your ears... You're freaking out. Breathe."

I let in a sharp, deep breath, knowing I had forgotten to for the past few seconds. Harry waited, watching me breathe for a while.

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