Some Wounds Never Heal

Come Back Down From Cloud 9 Wise Guy

Chapter 4:

Beckinsile's Point of View

"So where is he?" Nate asks as he hands me some dishes.

I rinse them and put them into the dishwasher.

"The usual; a party most likely." I say nonchalantly and grab another plate from him.

"Someday I'm going to party like him." Nate says as he sets some glasses on the counter. I look over and see an innocent gleam in his eyes.

"The kid doesn't know what Gabe actually does at those parties. I bet if he did he'd never want to be like Gabe."

I set the glasses in the dishwasher. For a split second I selfishly think about telling Nate what happens at those parties and what Gabe actually does at them. Then I think better of it because what if the truth makes him want to party more?

"I swear if you party like Gabe I will personally lock you in your room for the rest of your life like Harry Potter." I smirk and wash my hands.

"Oh so then I get to escape with my friends in a flying car?" Nate has a playful gleam in his eyes.

"If I see any flying cars, I will call in a SWAT team to make sure you stay in that room for the rest of your life."

"Oh Becks, you're no fun." Nate fake pouts as he walks out of the kitchen.

"I'm loads of fun. Gabe is the one that's no fun. At least I'm going somewhere in life." I chuckle as Nate and I walk up the stairs.

"You're just jealous that Gabe is more fun than you." Nate walks off towards his room.

"Nate, I know I've told you this before and I know you won't listen, but Gabe's lifestyle isn't all it's cracked up to be. I know you think it's cool that he's so popular and goes to all the parties but someday he'll wake up and have no job and no future."

"Isn't that a little harsh to say about your own brother?" Nate gives me a pointed look.

"I hate to sugarcoat stuff, Nate. I just don't want you to screw up your own future because you think Gabe's lifestyle is the only one out there."

"Why do you care so much if I turn out like Gabe? It's my future, not yours, Beckinsile." Nate crosses his arms and stands in his doorway.

"I care because you're my brother and I want the best for you. I know Gabe's lifestyle isn't worth it and I don't want you to screw up your future because of Gabe."

"I can do what I want, Beckinsile." Nate is red with anger.

"I know you can but I want you to know it's not worth it and if the only reason you're doing this is to gain the approval of Gabe than stop. Gabe would think you're awesome even if you spent all day with your nose in a book."

"You and I both know that isn't true." Nate shouts at me.

"Who needs Gabe's approval anyways?" I shout back. "Who needs the approval of some guy who has a D+ average and spends every weekend with the dumbest girls on the planet? Who needs the approval of some guy who spends more time in the principal's office than he does in the classroom? Who needs that?"

"I need that! Gabe's my older brother and I want to be like him. I admire him and I don't care if his lifestyle isn't worth it. I don't do this only for his approval; I do it because I want to be like him and it gives us something to bond over." Nate has tears in his eyes.

I then realize that maybe I've gone a little far but Gabe just makes me so angry. He's an awesome brother, he really is. He's also extremely popular and has guts to do things I'd never do, except that's the reason why I dislike him so much. I'm always known as Gabe's sister. I have to live in his shadow except with teachers and adults. He gets rewarded among our peers for doing things that could get him arrested in the real world. It's just unfair and what's worse is that he's corrupting my baby brother now.