Hansel and Gretel (Present-Day Remix)
Once upon a time there lived a family in a small cottage near a forest in Northern Maine. When Hansel and Gretel was born their mother got very sick with Cancer. Sadly, she didn't make it through. Their father, Gerald, raised the twins on his own for 10 years until Matilda, the step mother, came into their lives. Gretel and Hansel didn't like her at all. In fact, they tried to get rid of her a few times even though those attempts failed miserably. Their step mother was so furious she told their father that he had to decide between her and his children. That leads us into the present where their father was hiking with his children, Hansel and Gretel.
"We'll make camp here for tonight," he said as he pointed to a clear space between a few trees. "You two set up camp while I go get our supper." He said as he got up. The two children answered with nods, and, 'yes father.'
They watched as their father walked off into the forest. "Well, I vote that we just rest." said Hansel. He was always the lazy one.
"Okay you can rest but I'm going to go walk around for a while," said Gretel. "I'll be back in a couple of hours."
"Okay, whatever," said Hansel as he settled his back pack on top of Gretel's and started to lay out a blanket for their dinner.
"Hansel, wake up I'm back. Where's dad at?" Gretel said as she kicked Hansel in the back.
"First off, ouch! Stop hitting me! Second of all, he should have been back but I haven't seen him ever since he left." Hansel said as he shrugged his shoulders as if it wasn't a big deal.
"Well, it's almost twilight and he should have been back. Maybe we should pack up and go back home."
"Oh, ya! And how do you think we'll get home?" asked Hansel with a smart aleck snort.
Gretel stood there for a few seconds before she remembered that she had a GPS in the front pocket of her back pack. She went over there and throws Hansel's back pack to him and turned hers around. When she opened her pocket she saw that the one thing that could have saved them had been broken beyond repair.
"Um, Hansel why would you put your HEAVY back pack on top of mine?"
"I don't know, 'cause I didn't know where else to put it?"
"Well, you broke our GPS and now we're stranded. Way to go!" Gretel practically screeched the words at Hansel.
Hansel looked down guiltily and looked back at Gretel, "I'm sorry! Don't get mad at me!"
Gretel sighed. No use fighting, they should probably start walking before it got to dark out.
"Well, let's just figure out where to go, okay? It has to be better than just staying here." Hansel nodded and got up.
"Uh, Gretel, do you have the food bag, because I don't?"
"No I just have my clothes." And then Gretel stopped as she figured out what he said. "You don't have the food? WE have no food?"
"That's what I said!" said Hansel sarcastically.
"Great just great," said Gretel. And they kept on walking. After about an hour of walking they stumbled upon a worn path, but hey, it was a path and decided to follow it.
They were tired, hungry, dirty, and most importantly, cell phone deprived. "Why didn't dad let us take our cell phones out with us again?" asked Hansel.
"He said he didn't want us to risk breaking them again," Gretel said sadly while Hansel just groaned. When they looked up, they were amazed at what appeared right in front of them. It was the place of their dreams, a whole house completely made out of the latest technology. There were the I-pod touches, Blackberries, and even laptops!!! They ran straight to the cottage and started picking items off of the cottage when a sickly voice slithered over to them.
"You like the electronics?" asked the person with a warty face and prominent nose. Hansel and Gretel jumped back guiltily and was about to start apologizing when the old lady spoke again, "No, it's okay. I don't get many visitors and it's a pleasure to see you both, I'm Desiree and you are?" asked Desiree
"My name is Gretel and this is my brother Hansel," said Gretel as she and Hansel reached out their hands and shook hands with Desiree. They watched, sort of disgustedly, as she liked her hand after they shook. "We, umm, didn't mean to disturb you. Sorry if we were a disturbance."
"No, not disturbance at all! Actually, I was wondering if you would like to go inside and enjoy all of this stuff?
"Yes, of course!" Hansel practically jumped 20 feet in the air as he said that. And that was that, Hansel and Gretel went into a stranger's house. Please, kids, don't try this at home.
As Hansel and Gretel was absorbed in their technology, Desiree set down trays and trays of high calorie food in front of them, and of course they ate it. That's how it went for day until the day that Desiree asked them to come into the kitchen.
"What's wrong?" asked Gretel as she looked longingly at the I-pad in front of her.
"It's the oven it's not working correctly could you possibly help me fix it?" Desiree asked as Hansel came into the kitchen huffing and puffing.
"Wow, what happened to you Hansel. You've gained, like, 40 pounds!" said Gretel.
Hansel turned to her, huffed, and said, "Like you're the one to talk!" Gretel looked down and almost jumped. It looked like she gained 50 pounds!
"Children, the stove?" prompted Desiree. Hansel looked at Desiree more closely and something clicked.
"Hey do you remember what the new said? Something about a cannibal on the loose?" Gretel understood immediately.
"Run!" the both yelled at the top of their lungs.
"Oh, no you don't!" screeched Desiree. She ran after them just to trip over a laptop cord and hit the floor with a huge THUNK! Gretel and Hansel watched her for a few seconds to make sure that she was knocked out.
"Okay, I think it's time to go home," said Hansel.
"Agreed!" said Gretel.
And so they began the long journey back home. When they got to the forest they remembered from long summer days exploring, they started to run. Finally, they got to their back step just to find that their father was stooped on his knees crying his eyes out.
"Father!" cried Hansel as he and Gretel ran to him.
"Hansel? Gretel? Is that really you?" he asked in a voice slightly crazier than usual.
"Yes, dad, it's us! What's happened?" said Gretel, her voice full of worry. The father thought for a second and decided that it would be better to leave out the camping trip.
"You're stepmother left us a few days ago and you've been missing for days! Where have you been?" Hansel and Gretel looked at each other and grimaced.
"It's a long story," said Hansel.
"And I have a long time," said their father with a faint smile.