Being an Empress

16. Insecurities.

Varsha's POV.

I didn't know what to do. I tried adjusting but failed so miserably. What am I supposed to even do. As I kept following Swami, he stopped suddenly. He raised his hand with a pointed finger. "Sit in your palki, we are starting immediately and will now stop in the palace directly. Go, not a single more word." he said sternly. Tears flowed from eyes as I went to the gorgeous palki and sat there. I felt really thrilled to sit in palki and it made me feel much better, but my heart was still heavy. Swami was upset with me, and that hurt me deeply.

I thought Royals would always be happy, as they had so much comforts and so much food. But now, I realise nothing of that sort is true. I have such good food that I can access in the tent and so does Swami, but we have not even touched any of it. Everyone has different levels of problems, but each one is exactly similarly distressed. I felt utterly sad and disappointed but the chattering of maids kept me entertained. But now the greatest concern, was how I will live with Swami and adjust in the palace. Will I ever truly become a royal. How would I behave with people? As I tried calming my mind, my hunger also faded slowly and time flew smoothly as the sun travelled to the west. A huge gate slowly came in my view.

It was beautiful and much bigger than any other monument I have seen. It was even bigger than Rajkumari Kanaka's palace. And slowly as the desert started becoming less prominent and the town started revealing itself. Soldiers could be seen roaming around, who stopped the instance they noticed the caravan. Finally, the palki stopped and lowered. I didn't dare look out, all of a sudden I felt so nervous and anxious, my stomach started feeling sick and my gut, which couldn't be trusted always was also very salty.

"Varsha." I heard his voice, I gulped, I had to get out now. I slowly got out and could see him standing just a few steps away. He didn't say anything, but from under the veil I could say, he didn't look very angry. He just turned around and started walking. We crossed a river stream that had scary crocodiles and walked a long distance before I could see a lot of people, very richly dressed standing at a distance. My legs instantly stopped and my brain replayed the various incidents I heard of the terrible mishaps that occurred in palaces. I felt a push from one of the maids and I resumed walking. I stopped only a step behind Swami.

Before Swami, I saw a lady who looked very richly dressed and beside her was the King. I gulped. Krishna, this is so scary. I wanted to run somewhere but I felt too stunned. "She is my wife." I heard the voice of Swami and I felt it was too loud like announcement, but maybe because there were too many people, so he had to address all of them. The lady in front of Swami, that I am guessing it's a Queen almost dropped the plate. My hands unintentionally came forward to catch it, but I controlled myself as she immediately composed herself.

"Is she even a Royal?" I could hear a male voice and though I knew this would be coming sooner or later, I didn't expect to be made to stand in the threshold of my new home and being interrogated thus. Already our marriage had no proper rituals. The auspicious time to enter new home was also not set, atleast this could have been smoother. I closed my eyes at the ungrateful thoughts I was having. I was lucky to become a royal, or maybe not. But whatever happens, happens for the best. "She is a Brahmin putri." Swami told sternly. I closed my eyes for a moment and opened it again.

"Won't you welcome your daughter in law?" he asked the lady standing before him, his mother or maybe step mother. My heart beat increased. This was the deciding time. If she would be good to me, I could overcome, all the problems. But if she didn't like me, then that itself would manifest as my biggest problem. I held my breath.

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And the sentence in italic, the proverb, she has understood the wrong version of it the right version, she will understand but that will take time, so I am mentioning it here for you guys:

Everyone has different levels of problems, but each one has exactly the same amount of potential to be distressed about it.

Love you guys! And I will strive harder to update, I am not unhappy in life just facing too much technical issues and q huge lack of time :)I will try to make more time:)