Holding Her, Loving You

Chapter Eleven: Being a Parent

“I don’t want to go,” Alejandro said as he looked down at his hands, he was meant to be spending time with his father today but after two weeks of being bullied by Joseph; the last thing that Alejandro wanted to do was spend time with Cesc.

The footballer stared at his son, he didn’t know what was going on but Belina had told him that something was wrong; he hadn’t been the same since around the start of the school year and neither of his parents knew why.

“Come on Alex… we’re going to the cinema with the others,” Cesc said smiling fondly at the six year old, he didn’t know what had brought this on; he hoped that Belina hadn’t slowly been turning his son against him, he glanced at his ex-girlfriend who looked just as lost as he did about this.

Belina glanced at Cesc before she sighed and moved to sit next to Alejandro, he seemed so different from the happy little boy that he had been weeks ago; she couldn’t work out what was going on anymore and it worried her.

“You know that you can tell us anything, Alex what is going on?” Belina asked as Cesc moved to sit down, his brown eyes watching his son; he knew that the brunette was right and he wished that he had a closer bond with Alejandro so that his son would open up to him.

Alejandro looked at his mother, he knew that he should tell her what was happening at school; Joseph was making his life a nightmare and he wasn’t sure how much more that he could take.

“I just don’t want to go,” the little boy said as he looked at his father, he could see the doubt in Cesc’s eyes and he looked down at his hands feeling guilty; Belina sighed as she nodded her head knowing that she couldn’t force him to do something that he didn’t want.

***

“I’m sorry… I really don’t know what is going on Cesc, he’s been like this for weeks,” Belina said knowing that the footballer had been pretty busy the last few weeks and between work and his family; he hadn’t had much time for Alejandro.

Cesc shook his head as he sat down next to her, he knew that this was his own fault; he needed to make more time for his son before he lost him, he knew he wasn’t the best father and he hoped to change that.

“It’s okay… I haven’t been around a lot lately and I don’t make time for him like I do with Maria, Joseph and Lia,” Cesc said making his ex-girlfriend furrow her brow, she knew that he spent a lot of time with Daniella’s two children from her marriage but it did leave her with a lot of questions; especially since they weren’t Cesc’s children but someone else’s.

“Don’t,” the footballer said as he looked at her, he knew what she was thinking and she was right; he spent more time with his step-children and it wasn’t fair on his son, he loved spending time with Maria and Joseph because of the connection he had with them but they already had a father while Alejandro didn’t.

“I need your help,” Cesc said as an idea formed in his mind, he knew that he had a lot to making up to do and while he was still struggling with Alejandro; Belina knew what would make things better between the father and son.

The brunette nodded as she looked at him wondering where he was going with this, she sipped on her drink as they sat in the kitchen while Alejandro had disappeared upstairs to his bedroom; he hadn’t wanted to even spend time with Cesc in the house.

“Tell me what I can do to make things better,” Cesc said as he looked at the brunette hopefully, he hated looking around the home that Belina had provided for her and their son; he had never been there for either of them and he hated the thought of them struggling in anyway.

“Cesc you are doing wonderfully,” Belina said as he looked at him, she had a lot of things that she hadn’t told him about and she knew that sooner or later that he would find out; she just hoped she’d be able to handle things before then.

Cesc ran a hand through his hair, he knew she was keeping things from her and he wanted to help; only he needed her to open up to him.

“But not good enough… I know you struggled in the past Lina and I want to help you now, let me help,” Cesc said as he took her hand, he ignored the feelings that swelled in him knowing that he had to focus on getting her to open up to him.

Belina swallowed knowing what he wanted, she wasn’t sure that she could open up to him after everything that had happened between them; she sighed as she watched unsure what to do.

“I know what I did to you was horrible and I was an idiot but I want to be friends, not whatever this limbo is,” Cesc said shaking his head, his brown eyes locked with hers; he wanted to make things right and not just with Alejandro but with her as well.

***

Belina chewed on her lip, she wasn’t sure why she had allowed Cesc to see her bills and other expenses but the footballer had insisted and now she was worried about what he had to say about it.

“Lina, why didn’t you tell me?” Cesc asked as he sorted through the paperwork that she had given him; he had already called Daniella and cancelled the night out, which she had been far from pleased about especially when he had told her he was staying at Belina’s for a while.

The brunette shrugged as she watched him, she knew what he was talking about and it had never truly worried her; she always managed to pay her bills and expenses as well as managing to get Alejandro whatever he needed and wanted.

“It’s not a big deal,” Belina said making Cesc swallow as he thought about how Daniella lived; she got everything that she wanted and more since she not only had Cesc financing her life but her ex-husband as well, while Belina was left to struggle with everything.

The two sat in silence as Cesc looked over the papers for a moment, he furrowed his brow as he tried to find something; he wanted to know that the house was secure for not only Alejandro’s future but Belina’s, he hated the thought of them being made homeless.

“You don’t own this house,” Cesc said making Belina nod her head, she watched him wondering what he was thinking before the footballer groaned as he ran a hand through his hair.

“How do you cope?” Cesc asked as he watched her, he couldn’t help but be worried about what would happen if something took away the life that Belina had built for herself and their son.

The brunette smiled at him, she knew that he was worried about her and Alejandro but she had always done what she could and had gone without a lot of things just so the six year old could have what he wanted.

“It’s called being a single parent… you have to cope because no one is going to help you,” Belina said making Cesc look at her sadly, he knew that she wasn’t on the best of terms with her mother and she’d had no one else to turn to when he had dumped her.

Cesc sighed as he started to plan, he knew what he needed to do and he hoped that Belina wasn’t going to be upset when he did what he needed to.