Chapter 55: This is an Emergency

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Joy

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Joy

"You are worth fighting for."

I reread Rashad's note at least twenty times while at my desk. While my co-workers fawned about the over-the-top floral arrangement, I sat stunned. I thought Rashad had given up after our last conversation. I believed that once I told him that I wanted Phillip that he would quickly let go of any hopes for us.

But he didn't...

I leaned forward and inhaled the fresh scent of the wild flowers. Every color imaginable was included in this arrangement. Rashad knew I wasn't a traditional roses type of girl. I loved the color and drama of the variety of wild flowers.

Nausea began to take over me and I felt myself needing a break. I got up from the desk and walked towards our patio. The company owned a small office space that they rented out of a shared building and I loved the tranquility of the outside space.

While sitting on the bench I allowed the fresh air to comfort me. I was hoping that it would also give me some clarity as to what was going on. I thought Rashad and I both realized that what happened that weekend was a mistake. I believed once Rashad got away from the fairytale cloud of his parent's wedding renewal that he would remember what I did and why he didn't want this marriage anymore.

I thought about calling Rashad to thank him for the flowers, but it felt weird doing that too. Instead, I called my girl Tanya because it had been awhile since we had really talked and I really needed her advice.

"Hey girl," Tanya said. She sounded busy.

"You got a few minutes to talk?" I asked letting out a sigh. It was something about hearing your best friend's voice that wiped away half of the stress you were feeling before you called them.

"Yeah, give me a minute," I could hear her talking in the background. When the line became quieter, she finally spoke up again. "What's up with you?"

"Rashad sent flowers to my job," I informed her.

"Flowers?" She repeated. "Damn, what did you throw on him down in ole Alabama?"

"What did I throw on him? It's more like what the hell he tried to do to me," I said. I recalled that night and Rashad sexed me in a way that he had never done before. I thought it was the goodbye sex that I heard exes always had- the last time they got it in to truly say goodbye to each other.

"Did you call and thank him yet?"

"No, you are the only person I've called," I told her. "I don't know what to do. I can't understand what is going through Rashad's mind or what kind of game he is playing."

"What if he's not playing a game?" She asked. "What if he really regrets everything and wants his marriage back?"

"It's too late for all of that. You've seen everything we've done to each other."

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