Part 15

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《Why do you got self harming scars on your arm?》 He asked.
《I'm hungry do you have any food?》 I asked changing the subject. 《DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT!!》 He yelled. 《Why do you think I got them? My family got killed because of me it was my fault!》 I yelled back at him. 《What? It's not your fault it's that dude Marco' s fault.》 He said I was crying I'm so fucking weak. Stop crying you little bitch. 《But it was also my fucking fault! If I had just died when he tried killing me the first time!》 I said my breathing started to go fast. 《Did he try to kill you before?》 He asked I just nodded. 《I was kidnapped by him and his Mafia. I was held there for 6 months. I was tortured, raped and starved.》 I said going to the window. 《Hope you see what monster I am. I could have saved my family if I had died. It's all my fault. He came after them because I didn't die》  I said jumping out of the window. I looked at Cayden after jumping into my room he looked speechless. He probably just realized what monster I am I should have been the one that died. They should have been alive and I should have been dead. I took a knife I had and sat on my bed and started cutting all the memories came back to me all the screams, the shooting and everybody die right in front of my eyes. The blood came onto the sheets but I didn't care I just want to die but I can't I have too protect Alex and Rose even if they don't want my help. I started feeling light headed so I stopped cutting. I change the sheets when my wounds healed. I went down to Rose. 《Hey Rose how is your arm?》 I asked she looked at me with bug eyes. 《You worry about my arm!? Look at your own!》 She said I looked at it the wounds had opened. 《It's okay I'll just find some bandage. But how is your arm?》 I asked again. 《It's fine but let me help you clean your arm.》 She said I just nodded we went into the bathroom and she started cleaning my wounds. 《I thought you were doing better.》 She said. 《I was it's just the day comes back to me always the memories goes in my head on repeat.》 I said trying not to cry because crying is a weakness I couldn't hold my tears when I was with Cayden. 《Is it because the anniversary comes soon?》 She asked I nodded the anniversary was on my birthday nice way to spend your birthday watch your family getting killed. 《Are you sure you don't want to celebrate your birthday?》 She asked I just nodded because if I speak I know that I'll start crying. 《Well can I at least get you a present?》 She asked. 《Okay. But if you tell one of my new friends that I have my birthday on Saturday I'll personally kill you.》 I said it was Thursday btw. Rose finished cleaning my wounds and put bandages on it. 《Okay now I'm done but I'll change them for you tomorrow.》 She said I nodded and walked up to my bedroom. I was super tired so I went in my bed and decided too watch reruns of Friends until I falled asleep. I woke up and saw that the clock was 11.30 fuck I'm late. Well I'm still tired and since I'm already late I might as well just ditch. I texted Emilia and told her that I wouldn't come. I got up and took a shower while brushing my teeth because I'm lazy. I got out of the shower and got dressed I wore my usual a leather jacket I got from my dad ( i know he beat me but I still loved him) some high waist pants and a white t-shirt with white convears. (The outfit is one the top.)
I decided to go to a gang house too make sure everything was fine. I went to my car I wasn't hungry so I didn't eat breakfast. I got in the car and started it I drove for about an half hour. I locked my car and walked to the door I didn't knock because it's basically my house. 《Hello bitches!》 I yelled.

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